Well I'm not manic

But I am frustrated, that's for sure. And I've got excess energy to burn off, which I've been trying to do in constructive ways, and that's been working, to a certain extent. The apartment is pretty clean. I've been using the new trampoline, which I really like, a lot. I'm glad Kat got hers, or I wouldn't have realized how awesome that they are. And the decorating on the place is going well, and I'm liking how it's all turning out.

But I'm still working through my frustrations as best I can, and there isn't much I can besides try and be constructive. I'm doing fairly well in my classes, as far as I can tell. I'm really enjoying the writing course, although it's a lot more difficult than I initially believed it was going to be. I'm getting a lot of reading done.

I'll be shipping Carl's books and his things back to him shortly, per his request, which kind of bums me out, but it'll clear out some space in the apartment. But I'll definitely miss the books. I bet he'll be happy to have access to them again though. And I'm still weeding through my closets on an almost weekly basis, it's kind of crazy.

And I'm waiting. At least, that's kind of how it feels. As though there's this empty feeling, an empty waiting. And I can't make it stop, and I can't make it go away, and there doesn't seem to be anything I can do to change the lost feeling. There was no closure, there was no good reason for any of it, and that hurts, and so I still have a hole I can't quite close. It isn't that I didn't move on, because I did. I'm still moving forward and seeing someone new now, and doing all the things I should have done before. But it's still an empty feeling. A loss of a friendships that I hadn't expected to lose, and things that cause pain.

Meh. Nothing to do but move forward, and do what has to be done, right? Responsible as always.