Danny's dad just doesn't get it. And I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to squelch what I have to say to him, due to a slight case of he keeps calling to ask things from Danny.
He keeps asking things like "What kind of TV will I need to go buy so I can hook up such and so". Or "Where do I go to get a TV tuner for the computer so I can watch TV on my machine?"
And you know what? I get it, he doesn't have a clue what he needs to be able to improve his tech toys. What I don't get is how exactly he can manage to so nonchalantly act as though he didn't just royally screw us over. If he'd never offered to help us get into a house, this wouldn't even be an issue for me.
But the jackass has pushed and pushed and pushed us to buy a house for *years*. And I finally agreed to make the attempt, because he said he would cough up the money needed to get the loan, etc. We wouldn't have even been *looking* had that offer not been made.
But when it came right down to it, when we found the house, got the loan agreed to. All the details were in place. Then he reneged. Claiming that they just couldn't afford to help us out after all. Nope, no money available to help like he promised. And less than two days later he's talking about the two escrows closing, which are about 15,000 dollars. And there's the 48,000 Hawaii property that just sold, that they got paid for. Yeah, completely broke. The way I do math, that sounds like he could've kept his word. But instead, he calls and asks advice on what to buy with the money he claims not to have. And he asks *DANNY*, as though he hadn't just finished telling Danny about how broke they are.
I call bullshit. And every time he calls here, I get a little more angry. And when I get more angry, I get more stressed out. And more stressed out leads to very bad consequences for me right now. And I'm tired of it. He wants to go and spend all that money, hey, not my decision. But he fucked us over. And Danny doesn't even seem to care. He cares when I'm angry, but he doesn't care enough to point out even once to his dad that he's a jackass. That he reneged on something that has effectively screwed us for the next foreseeable decade. I'm sure we'll figure something out eventually. Because we're going to have to. But buying that house would have solved the problems. And now we're right back to square one. And Danny won't stand up to him enough to even call him on his shit. And that hurts me. Because it isn't fair to me. And I realize that having to stand up to his dad is going to suck. But until he does that, his dad is going to continue to take advantage of him. Going to continue to screw him over, because he can. Because he knows there are no consequences for breaking his word. And every time he does it, it drives yet another wedge between me and Danny.
And what really sucks, is that I'm pretty sure that Steve is aware that he's causing fighting between me and Danny. He's never liked it that we're together, and he knows that he can get away with doing and saying whatever he likes, because Danny won't ever actually stand up to him and make him stop.
And the only way I can actually see that would clear the problem is to either cut him off, or confront him. Or Danny and I could break up, and I could find somewhere else to live and start over. But that won't solve Danny's problem, it'd just change the circumstances. Because he's going to do that to anyone Danny is with. And I don't really want to ruin a seven year relationship over something that I have no control over. I love Danny, and I don't even know what I would do without him...but how much is one person supposed to be able to put up with?
Monday, April 30, 2007
Friday, April 27, 2007
Karma for me
So today should have garnered some karma. Boot Barn called for Courtney today, I gathered that they're hiring, and are interested in employing her. So I cordially said she'd moved to a new apartment, and gave them her new contact information. Which, given that I had some stuff stolen that may or may not have been a result of her petty dramaqueen bullshit, I could just as easily have told them that she'd been arrested, or something else equally heinous. And I didn't. I was nice, and polite, and gave them the new info.
We won't be buying a house. At least, not anytime soon. We're going to have to do some serious overhauling of our finances, and things of that nature. And I'll never trust Danny's dad again. For the forseeable future, I want absolutely nothing to do with him. And for his sake, he better hope he doesn't call my house asking Danny to do *ANYTHING* for him anytime soon.
Things are actually looking up. Everything will be okay. The Tarot tells me so :P Yeah, yeah. I think Danny and I are probably going to be taking the weekend "off" as it were, and simply curling up in our corner and spending time with each other.
In other news, hey Melissa, if you have travelled over here from myspace to keep reading my blogstuffs, Danny said he saw you today out at lunch, and that the boys are adorable :) So, hi if you're reading this!
OK. I'm going to go and kick back, and have some weekend time.
We won't be buying a house. At least, not anytime soon. We're going to have to do some serious overhauling of our finances, and things of that nature. And I'll never trust Danny's dad again. For the forseeable future, I want absolutely nothing to do with him. And for his sake, he better hope he doesn't call my house asking Danny to do *ANYTHING* for him anytime soon.
Things are actually looking up. Everything will be okay. The Tarot tells me so :P Yeah, yeah. I think Danny and I are probably going to be taking the weekend "off" as it were, and simply curling up in our corner and spending time with each other.
In other news, hey Melissa, if you have travelled over here from myspace to keep reading my blogstuffs, Danny said he saw you today out at lunch, and that the boys are adorable :) So, hi if you're reading this!
OK. I'm going to go and kick back, and have some weekend time.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
It's Charmed, I'm Sure
Danny took and passed with flying colours his CCNA exam this morning. Thanks to everyone who sent good luck to him. I am so very proud of him. *I* knew he could do it..and now he knows that too.
Things are very up in the air right now, and it's making my head spin. I don't know what's going on, exactly, with the house we were going to try to buy. Danny's parents had said they'd help us get it, and then as usual, his Dad pulled the rug out from under us. I'm getting very tired of him doing that. I realize that nobody has an obligation to help us buy a house. But we wouldn't even have been making the attempt had he not offered about twelve thousand dollars so we could try. And now that it's come right down to it, he no longer wants to have to give us the money, which is effectively fucking us over. I'm not sure what is going to happen now.
The simple truth is that we're in debt. We're in a lot of debt. And most of it is your average normal debt for people our age. But some of it isn't. And a healthy chunk of that is because we believed his father on some advice he gave us, and it's effectively screwed us for the next foreseeable decade. Had we been able to buy the house, we could have taken out an equity loan and paid everything off, leaving us with the mortgage payment, and one equity payment, but not this myriad of other things, and certainly no end in sight for dealing with the tax problems.
And so I'm angry. I'm not angry at Danny at all. But I'm thoroughly disgusted with the ease with which his dad is so very willing to screw everybody, apparently including his own son, over. And I just don't know what to do about that.
Things are very up in the air right now, and it's making my head spin. I don't know what's going on, exactly, with the house we were going to try to buy. Danny's parents had said they'd help us get it, and then as usual, his Dad pulled the rug out from under us. I'm getting very tired of him doing that. I realize that nobody has an obligation to help us buy a house. But we wouldn't even have been making the attempt had he not offered about twelve thousand dollars so we could try. And now that it's come right down to it, he no longer wants to have to give us the money, which is effectively fucking us over. I'm not sure what is going to happen now.
The simple truth is that we're in debt. We're in a lot of debt. And most of it is your average normal debt for people our age. But some of it isn't. And a healthy chunk of that is because we believed his father on some advice he gave us, and it's effectively screwed us for the next foreseeable decade. Had we been able to buy the house, we could have taken out an equity loan and paid everything off, leaving us with the mortgage payment, and one equity payment, but not this myriad of other things, and certainly no end in sight for dealing with the tax problems.
And so I'm angry. I'm not angry at Danny at all. But I'm thoroughly disgusted with the ease with which his dad is so very willing to screw everybody, apparently including his own son, over. And I just don't know what to do about that.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
*Ahem*
Now let me preface this by saying that it isn't an accusation to anyone. There are several things missing from my apartment, and as a result, I'm having to notify the police department that they're missing. I have high-level narcotics that are prescribed to me, and anti-depressants, and I've got several bottles missing. Because of what they are, I had to notify both my doctor's office and the police. Yay. Fun. And because of all the trouble I've had lately, PD is cross-referencing anyone who might have had reason to cause trouble for me. Again, yay.
Everything is fine. Danny and I are both fine, nothing that's important to us personally is missing. The medications will be replaced. Fortunately, because I've taken them for so long, it's in my medical documentation that I don't have a history of abusing them, so when I report that I'm missing class four narcotics, I don't end up accused of just having taken them all at once or something.
Irritating, but nothing that's going to ruin my life.
In other news, Danny goes in tomorrow morning to take his CCNA exam, everybody wish him good luck! Not that I have any doubt he'll do just fine, because he always acts like he'll flunk with flying colors, and then comes back with great scores on tests. But he's worried, so everyone wish him good luck.
We've put in a bid on a house, to see if we can try to buy it. Wish us good luck in that endeavor if you have time. We're hopeful and scared at the same time. We really like the house, and it has all the things we would need in a house. We're excited. I have no idea how long the process will take, the whole bidding, getting accepted, escrow and stuff. I've never done anything like this before.
I'm dreading packing again. Packing blows. Every time we do it, it sucks every single time. But I bet unpacking into a house that's truly ours that has no landlord will be an absolutely amazing feeling.
Okay, so I'm going to go watch "Charmed" on DVD (still courtesy of 'Chelle), which I'm about halfway through the second season of. My older brother tells me I'm a bum, because I don't watch it obsessively until I'm finished with the series the way he does. Heh. I'm enjoying it. It's fluff, but it's amusing fluff.
A'ight, everybody take care. Oh, and if you're in Fresno, my friend Nathan's band Approaching Darkness will be playing May 7th at the Crossroads bar at Cedar & Shields. If you have time, or the inclination, go out and support him and his band. I believe it's a battle of the bands kind of competition. Ok, bye!
Everything is fine. Danny and I are both fine, nothing that's important to us personally is missing. The medications will be replaced. Fortunately, because I've taken them for so long, it's in my medical documentation that I don't have a history of abusing them, so when I report that I'm missing class four narcotics, I don't end up accused of just having taken them all at once or something.
Irritating, but nothing that's going to ruin my life.
In other news, Danny goes in tomorrow morning to take his CCNA exam, everybody wish him good luck! Not that I have any doubt he'll do just fine, because he always acts like he'll flunk with flying colors, and then comes back with great scores on tests. But he's worried, so everyone wish him good luck.
We've put in a bid on a house, to see if we can try to buy it. Wish us good luck in that endeavor if you have time. We're hopeful and scared at the same time. We really like the house, and it has all the things we would need in a house. We're excited. I have no idea how long the process will take, the whole bidding, getting accepted, escrow and stuff. I've never done anything like this before.
I'm dreading packing again. Packing blows. Every time we do it, it sucks every single time. But I bet unpacking into a house that's truly ours that has no landlord will be an absolutely amazing feeling.
Okay, so I'm going to go watch "Charmed" on DVD (still courtesy of 'Chelle), which I'm about halfway through the second season of. My older brother tells me I'm a bum, because I don't watch it obsessively until I'm finished with the series the way he does. Heh. I'm enjoying it. It's fluff, but it's amusing fluff.
A'ight, everybody take care. Oh, and if you're in Fresno, my friend Nathan's band Approaching Darkness will be playing May 7th at the Crossroads bar at Cedar & Shields. If you have time, or the inclination, go out and support him and his band. I believe it's a battle of the bands kind of competition. Ok, bye!
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Quiz thing
| What Is Your Japanese Name? (girls) |
  Tsukiko Your Japanese name is Tsukiko. Tsukiko means "moon child" in Japanese. You love to daydream, and are into things like astrology. You love myth and all things magical. Others see you as mysterious and many think of you as weird, but you dont care. If they took the time to get to know you, they'd realize how sweet you are. |
| How do you compare? Take this test! | Tests from Testriffic |
Updates
A week ago today, I had a seizure. The results are back from the MRI I had done. Everything seems to be fine. No new tumor growth, nothing. But that leaves me back at square one for trying to figure out exactly what happened. I have a couple of theories, but none of them are particularly happy. Obviously, something's broken, because if it wasn't, I wouldn't have had a seizure. Yeah, okay. Done with that line of thought for now.
In other news, we're house hunting. Which isn't particularly a lot of fun. Real estate prices are going down, but they still aren't "reasonable" price-wise. There's a bid being submitted on a place we like. We aren't completely sure we'll be able to be financed the way we want. It's a lot more complicated than I realized, this whole trying to purchase property thing. And I'm picky. It has to have specific minimum of bedrooms. Has to have a pool. Has to have several other things. Which all make finding the "perfect" place difficult. So we'll see.
Worst case scenario, we'll stay put in our apartment, and work on other ways of paying back the back taxes.
In other news, we're house hunting. Which isn't particularly a lot of fun. Real estate prices are going down, but they still aren't "reasonable" price-wise. There's a bid being submitted on a place we like. We aren't completely sure we'll be able to be financed the way we want. It's a lot more complicated than I realized, this whole trying to purchase property thing. And I'm picky. It has to have specific minimum of bedrooms. Has to have a pool. Has to have several other things. Which all make finding the "perfect" place difficult. So we'll see.
Worst case scenario, we'll stay put in our apartment, and work on other ways of paying back the back taxes.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
This week has been....
long? Tiresome? Irritating? It's actually been all of those things. I am mostly frustrated right now. Danny will be picking up the films and the MRI report this afternoon for me, so I'll have it to read by the end of the day. And my doctor's office is fitting me in to see my primary tomorrow. And the woman on the phone's greeting to me? "You're the girl with brain cancer, right?" Fucking yay. Yes, I am the girl with brain cancer. And yes, I realize that it's not a common thing for them to see in the clinic, but christ almighty, did they have to make me feel even more paranoid? Especially seeing as how I've not seen the most recent results of my films?
I've been exhausted all week. Tomorrow is Friday, and I haven't really done anything at all since I had that seizure. It's taken four full days for me to walk without flinching from the leg cramps. I'm still sore, but it's finally easing off.
The Schwan's guy will be here sometime today, yay for groceries. And the water submersible MP3 player that I wanted will also be here sometime today. UPS tracking tells me that it's on the truck as I type. I'm looking forward to that.
We watched "Rocky Balboa" last night, from Netflix. The dialogue was horrible. The fight scenes were what they always are. It just wasn't very good. How disappointing.
Things aren't as warm and fuzzy as I keep claiming to everyone. My speech has been problematic all week. I've had a headache, and trouble concentrating too. My balance is off. And the more I worry about it, the worse it gets. And I can't seem to do anything at all to control it. So I'm all tucked back into my little personal bubble, trying to wait it out, but it's hard because I'd gotten so adjusted to taking normalcy for granted.
Sorry for the whining tone to this post. I just don't know what else to do.
I've been exhausted all week. Tomorrow is Friday, and I haven't really done anything at all since I had that seizure. It's taken four full days for me to walk without flinching from the leg cramps. I'm still sore, but it's finally easing off.
The Schwan's guy will be here sometime today, yay for groceries. And the water submersible MP3 player that I wanted will also be here sometime today. UPS tracking tells me that it's on the truck as I type. I'm looking forward to that.
We watched "Rocky Balboa" last night, from Netflix. The dialogue was horrible. The fight scenes were what they always are. It just wasn't very good. How disappointing.
Things aren't as warm and fuzzy as I keep claiming to everyone. My speech has been problematic all week. I've had a headache, and trouble concentrating too. My balance is off. And the more I worry about it, the worse it gets. And I can't seem to do anything at all to control it. So I'm all tucked back into my little personal bubble, trying to wait it out, but it's hard because I'd gotten so adjusted to taking normalcy for granted.
Sorry for the whining tone to this post. I just don't know what else to do.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Daily blogging
It's been a rough couple of days. A lot of that is my own fault, and I can accept that. But it's still been a rough couple of days.
I am angry, that I had another seizure. Angry at myself. Angry at a few other people who contributed to the stress I've been under. Just angry in general, somewhat. I simply want to be healthy again. I don't want to have to worry that I'm broken again. And I hate myself for the fears and doubts and insecurities that rear up when things like this happen.
I'll be going in for a consult with my doctor, who won't actually be able to read the MRI films, but I have to go there are a starting point to get referrals out to everywhere else. It bugs, but there isn't much I can do about it.
After I see my baseline doc, I'll be going in to see a good Neurologist here in town. Among other things, I'll be having the full neuro workup done. Yay. It was so much fun last time, that I'm just *really* looking forward to it.
I don't know. I want to be nice and calm and serene, but I'm not. I'm angry, and feel like having a childish tantrum, even though I know that won't help anything.
And poor Danny is getting the shit end of the stick, because I don't know how to handle things. I used to be able to handle them, but I can't anymore.
And I'm so tired. Physically tired. Emotionally tired. I just feel beaten. Things were going well, and now they aren't anymore. Or maybe they still are, but it doesn't feel that way to me right now.
I'm so frustrated.
I am angry, that I had another seizure. Angry at myself. Angry at a few other people who contributed to the stress I've been under. Just angry in general, somewhat. I simply want to be healthy again. I don't want to have to worry that I'm broken again. And I hate myself for the fears and doubts and insecurities that rear up when things like this happen.
I'll be going in for a consult with my doctor, who won't actually be able to read the MRI films, but I have to go there are a starting point to get referrals out to everywhere else. It bugs, but there isn't much I can do about it.
After I see my baseline doc, I'll be going in to see a good Neurologist here in town. Among other things, I'll be having the full neuro workup done. Yay. It was so much fun last time, that I'm just *really* looking forward to it.
I don't know. I want to be nice and calm and serene, but I'm not. I'm angry, and feel like having a childish tantrum, even though I know that won't help anything.
And poor Danny is getting the shit end of the stick, because I don't know how to handle things. I used to be able to handle them, but I can't anymore.
And I'm so tired. Physically tired. Emotionally tired. I just feel beaten. Things were going well, and now they aren't anymore. Or maybe they still are, but it doesn't feel that way to me right now.
I'm so frustrated.
Compilation transfer from Myspace blogs
Monday, April 16, 2007
Doctors visits, MRI's and answers
Current mood: exhausted
Category: Life
As I said, last night I had a seizure. I haven't had one in more than three years, and it spooked me pretty good. Spooked me enough to get into the doctor, and to get myself in for an MRI workup. Official results from the scans won't actually be back until tomorow, but the intial results are essentially this: I still have a big golf-ball sized hole in my brain. It's still empty. Nothing appears to be in my head that doesn't belong there.
Long and short of it seems to be that I completely stressed myself through the wringer, and as a result had a seizure. I can't afford anymore to deal with petty bullshit drama, created by myself or anyone else. I can't get myself worked up to think that I'm completely responsible for someone else's livelihood, or anything else. Stress is *not* my friend.
I'll be going in for a neurological workup as well, once I have the hard copy films in my hand, with a good neuro guy here in town who I've seen before. It's a faster visit than a trip to SF would be for me. And I know he's good, because he's fully willing to admit when he doesn't have the answers, and send me to someone else who does. That's tops in my book of pre-requisites for a neurologist.
So basically it boils down to this. My friends are my friends, and will remain so. People who cause me grief and/or massive amounts of stress will simply end up cut off at the knees, because I no longer have the ability to deal with the bullshit in any form. My family will still be at the top of a priority list for me, but I can't do any kind of scheduled day-to-day guaranteed work, because it sends me off the deep end. Which sucks for me, but there it is.
Right now I'm doped up on Valium and Soma, with a short case of Norco to follow shortly. I hurt, my muscles are screaming in pain from last night's convulsions, and all I want is something good to eat, and then to go curl up under some blankets and chill out.
To anyone I didn't call personally to pass along the news, good and bad, I'm really sorry, but I barely remembered what medications I take when the doctor asked me. So don't be mad if I didn't call you directly, and you read this.
Love you all, and I'll make the getting in touch rounds when I'm feeling better.
6:22 PM
Yesterday, bad things, and tests
Current mood: scared
Category: Life
I'll probably be blogging a lot more lately, because my streak of being busy and trying to be normal again just ended. I had a seizure last night, while I was making dinner. It's the first one I've ever had while I was awake, and it scared me.
Danny is home today, and I'll be calling my doctor in just a minute. I'm due for a slew of tests, and I guess now is going to be when I go for them. I'll put up information when I have it, but all I know right now is that I had a new seizure, and I'm scared.
I won't be driving for a while. I won't be doing much of anything for a while but pulling back into my coccoon and trying *not* to get stressed out, since the stress lately is probably a good part of what kicked off the seizure.
So I don't want anybody to feel offended if I'm not as available as I was, I just need a little time and space to figure out what happened.
Love, Crys
Saturday, April 14, 2007
I am the mad ninja!
Current mood: chipper
Category: Life
Well, me and my calculator at any rate. So today was go grocery shopping day. Which is kind of a suck, because we're still broke. We'll be out of the hole from Courtney and Tony's stupid wedding by next paycheck, but until then it still sucks here. My older brother actually bailed us out by loaning us 400 dollars to cover the car payment and groceries...until we realized that Danny needs 125 dollars on Tuesday to pay for his CCNA test. Job will reimburse, but it was the suck. Decisions decisions, groceries, or pay for the test? Well, I managed to do both. Go me.
So I had the "essentials" list. I had the "we need these kind of" list. And then I had the "it'd be nice" list. And I had a calculator. To the store we went! We got everything on the essentials list. We got everything on the kind of list. And we got all buy 5 things from the it'd be nice list, and still ended up with 80 dollars left. Thus, I am the mad ninja. 2 cases of water, 2 cases of lipton iced tea, 2 cubes of pepsi, 8 jars of spaghetti sauce, 16 pounds of pasta, chicken breasts, hot dogs, hamburgers, buns, milk, yogurt, vegetables, tomato sauce, evaporated milk, hamburger helper (for emergencies), frozen pizzas (chepaer than take-out!), frozen o'brien potatoes, italian sausage, a bunch of freezer stuff, cat litter, toilet paper, and the miscellaneous sundries. Yay me. It came to 140 and change. I am quite proud of that.
I had blogged recently that we're trying to cut back on expenses, and evidentally, we'll be able to do that somewhat. We'll be utilizing a savings account soon too. Things are going to be okay.
Okay, gotta go. Things to slime, people to do!
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Karma
Current mood: mischievous
Category: Life
So yeah, Karma. I've always more or less believed in Karma in the traditional sense, but at the root it seems to go back to "do unto others". I let the car in the driveway out if there's a huge line of people behind me. I take the time to listen when someone has a problem, because it helps them to express what's going on in a rational way, so they can come to grips with things. I usually have twenty dollars in an emergency to tide someone over for the couple days until payday. I treat other people for the most part the way I'd like to be treated. Generally even people who I know will never return the favor. It all adds up in the end, to my Karma bank account.
So at Christmas, at the mall, I can usually find the front row parking spot. I generally end up with people who will listen to me when I have something to say. I respect people's beliefs, and as a result, rarely get any flack about my own beliefs or morals.
It's a nice setup, Karma. But there's always someone who thinks that they should get to decide who gets what, and when. They see themselves somehow as the judge, jury and executioner. It's pretty funny if you think about it, because the executioner probably doesn't end up with a lot of good Karma in his basket, since he's usually beheading people. Individual people don't get to make the rules for others. You can't decide whether or not JimBob has done something wrong, and try to punish him for it. It isn't your decision to make. Some higher power, pick which one at your own discretion, is going to be making that decision, and probably isn't going to be appreciating your input in the first place. Which leads back to garnering bad Karma for you, if you try to make decisions that aren't yours to make.
So I get to sit back and watch the people who are stupid enough to try and take upon themselves stuff they have no business being involved in to begin with, and watch them get back what they have coming to them for sticking their nose into other's business. Great entertainment, if you can get it.
Meh, just a thought for the windy freezing morning today.
Doctors visits, MRI's and answers
Current mood: exhausted
Category: Life
As I said, last night I had a seizure. I haven't had one in more than three years, and it spooked me pretty good. Spooked me enough to get into the doctor, and to get myself in for an MRI workup. Official results from the scans won't actually be back until tomorow, but the intial results are essentially this: I still have a big golf-ball sized hole in my brain. It's still empty. Nothing appears to be in my head that doesn't belong there.
Long and short of it seems to be that I completely stressed myself through the wringer, and as a result had a seizure. I can't afford anymore to deal with petty bullshit drama, created by myself or anyone else. I can't get myself worked up to think that I'm completely responsible for someone else's livelihood, or anything else. Stress is *not* my friend.
I'll be going in for a neurological workup as well, once I have the hard copy films in my hand, with a good neuro guy here in town who I've seen before. It's a faster visit than a trip to SF would be for me. And I know he's good, because he's fully willing to admit when he doesn't have the answers, and send me to someone else who does. That's tops in my book of pre-requisites for a neurologist.
So basically it boils down to this. My friends are my friends, and will remain so. People who cause me grief and/or massive amounts of stress will simply end up cut off at the knees, because I no longer have the ability to deal with the bullshit in any form. My family will still be at the top of a priority list for me, but I can't do any kind of scheduled day-to-day guaranteed work, because it sends me off the deep end. Which sucks for me, but there it is.
Right now I'm doped up on Valium and Soma, with a short case of Norco to follow shortly. I hurt, my muscles are screaming in pain from last night's convulsions, and all I want is something good to eat, and then to go curl up under some blankets and chill out.
To anyone I didn't call personally to pass along the news, good and bad, I'm really sorry, but I barely remembered what medications I take when the doctor asked me. So don't be mad if I didn't call you directly, and you read this.
Love you all, and I'll make the getting in touch rounds when I'm feeling better.
6:22 PM
Yesterday, bad things, and tests
Current mood: scared
Category: Life
I'll probably be blogging a lot more lately, because my streak of being busy and trying to be normal again just ended. I had a seizure last night, while I was making dinner. It's the first one I've ever had while I was awake, and it scared me.
Danny is home today, and I'll be calling my doctor in just a minute. I'm due for a slew of tests, and I guess now is going to be when I go for them. I'll put up information when I have it, but all I know right now is that I had a new seizure, and I'm scared.
I won't be driving for a while. I won't be doing much of anything for a while but pulling back into my coccoon and trying *not* to get stressed out, since the stress lately is probably a good part of what kicked off the seizure.
So I don't want anybody to feel offended if I'm not as available as I was, I just need a little time and space to figure out what happened.
Love, Crys
Saturday, April 14, 2007
I am the mad ninja!
Current mood: chipper
Category: Life
Well, me and my calculator at any rate. So today was go grocery shopping day. Which is kind of a suck, because we're still broke. We'll be out of the hole from Courtney and Tony's stupid wedding by next paycheck, but until then it still sucks here. My older brother actually bailed us out by loaning us 400 dollars to cover the car payment and groceries...until we realized that Danny needs 125 dollars on Tuesday to pay for his CCNA test. Job will reimburse, but it was the suck. Decisions decisions, groceries, or pay for the test? Well, I managed to do both. Go me.
So I had the "essentials" list. I had the "we need these kind of" list. And then I had the "it'd be nice" list. And I had a calculator. To the store we went! We got everything on the essentials list. We got everything on the kind of list. And we got all buy 5 things from the it'd be nice list, and still ended up with 80 dollars left. Thus, I am the mad ninja. 2 cases of water, 2 cases of lipton iced tea, 2 cubes of pepsi, 8 jars of spaghetti sauce, 16 pounds of pasta, chicken breasts, hot dogs, hamburgers, buns, milk, yogurt, vegetables, tomato sauce, evaporated milk, hamburger helper (for emergencies), frozen pizzas (chepaer than take-out!), frozen o'brien potatoes, italian sausage, a bunch of freezer stuff, cat litter, toilet paper, and the miscellaneous sundries. Yay me. It came to 140 and change. I am quite proud of that.
I had blogged recently that we're trying to cut back on expenses, and evidentally, we'll be able to do that somewhat. We'll be utilizing a savings account soon too. Things are going to be okay.
Okay, gotta go. Things to slime, people to do!
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Karma
Current mood: mischievous
Category: Life
So yeah, Karma. I've always more or less believed in Karma in the traditional sense, but at the root it seems to go back to "do unto others". I let the car in the driveway out if there's a huge line of people behind me. I take the time to listen when someone has a problem, because it helps them to express what's going on in a rational way, so they can come to grips with things. I usually have twenty dollars in an emergency to tide someone over for the couple days until payday. I treat other people for the most part the way I'd like to be treated. Generally even people who I know will never return the favor. It all adds up in the end, to my Karma bank account.
So at Christmas, at the mall, I can usually find the front row parking spot. I generally end up with people who will listen to me when I have something to say. I respect people's beliefs, and as a result, rarely get any flack about my own beliefs or morals.
It's a nice setup, Karma. But there's always someone who thinks that they should get to decide who gets what, and when. They see themselves somehow as the judge, jury and executioner. It's pretty funny if you think about it, because the executioner probably doesn't end up with a lot of good Karma in his basket, since he's usually beheading people. Individual people don't get to make the rules for others. You can't decide whether or not JimBob has done something wrong, and try to punish him for it. It isn't your decision to make. Some higher power, pick which one at your own discretion, is going to be making that decision, and probably isn't going to be appreciating your input in the first place. Which leads back to garnering bad Karma for you, if you try to make decisions that aren't yours to make.
So I get to sit back and watch the people who are stupid enough to try and take upon themselves stuff they have no business being involved in to begin with, and watch them get back what they have coming to them for sticking their nose into other's business. Great entertainment, if you can get it.
Meh, just a thought for the windy freezing morning today.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Things change/sometimes they circle around/sometimes they just change
I am so tired. And cold. I'm freezing. I've been freezing all day it seems. I got a little bit chilled this morning, and it snowballed (no pun intended) into complete freezing by this afternoon. I've spent most of the afternoon in bed buried in blankets with Esbat, trying to get warm. I'm sure I'll get there eventually. Nobody stays frozen forever.
So with all the bullshit drama that's going on, I've been venting on here. I probably will continue to do so, because that's how I am. I know more or less what's going on with everybody, because everyone talks to me, and I'm good with that. What I'm not good with is what's happening to Tony. Don't get me wrong, I saw his happy little blog post today. But it smells suspiciously like bullshit. And it smells like bullshit mostly because it probably is. I'm sure he wrote it, with all the spelling mistakes, I'll concede it probably was written by him. I just wonder whether or not Courtney was standing behind him with a crowbar while he wrote it. Seems to me that if things are as warm and fuzzy as claimed, then he'd be going to his friend's homes and hanging out. He'd be going to lake, and enjoying himself, and not going in to be "punished" for having left the house when he gets home. He wouldn't only be speaking to people from work, instead of taking calls at home. When you have to sneak around to talk to people, when you have to claim you hate people that you actually don't hate, something is definitely wrong in your life.
Now, me personally. I don't much care when someone hates me or not. I've been through that particular minefield too many times in my life to even register it anymore. And I can take it or leave it, for the most part, on friendships. I don't go out of my way to hurt anybody. I haven't bothered going out of my way to hurt anyone, physically, emotionally, or any other way in years. I simply don't care that much about other people's opinions anymore.
I was willing to go out of my way to not attend gatherings being held at Tony's friend's houses, because I didn't want him to be forced by Courtney to stay home if I was there. It was mostly a common courtesy gesture on my part, because I know how much Tony means to people like Kat. She loves him like a brother, and she shouldn't have to explain my presence or deal with the shitstorm that ensues because of me, just to be able to spend time with him. And yet, in spite of my *not* going out and hanging out, he still wasn't supposed to go, and Courtney definitely made him pay for it. God ony knows what the hell she does to him besides degrade him and insult him when people are *not* present to see it. She certainly treats him horribly when people are there, s I cringe when I think of how it must be when nobody's there when she's in one of her moods.
It's as though she woke up three days after the wedding, and decided that she was going to be the one in charge of absolutely everything. I know that she was treated like complete shit by her ex-husbands. I know that she's been through quite a bit in the last few years. But I also know that Tony treats her very well indeed, and in return, she treats him like he's some annoying house pet that she tolerates because it's expected, but doesn't actually love. He's supposed to tell her she's wonderful and beautiful and how much he loves her all the time. While at the same time, she calls him stupid and useless and bitches about everything he does, 90% of the time. That isn't love.
See, a decade ago, I wouldn't have seen anything wrong with what she's doing. That was before I got together with Danny. But I've been with Danny now for a long time, and it's taught me what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like. Companionship. Respect. Honesty. Trust. Those are all integral parts of a partnership, and marriage is supposed to be a partnership, not a dictatorship. Courtney should remember that, given how she was treated all those years.
And because of that, I just can't understand what she's doing. I know that she's probably getting feedback from Jennifer about her behaviour, and that Jennifer's probably encouraging it, because I gathered when I came into contact with Jennifer that she still has a 'me me me' complex. I hope for society's sake she outgrows it, but whatever. This isn't high school, and her influence on Court is hurting Tony terribly. And Tony's a nice man, who doesn't deserve to be living in hell constantly.
I've discussed what I think with some of my friends. I just don't understand. I got dumped all over, I got used for a couple thousand dollars worth of stuff. I had the police called on me for threats I never made. I had some truly vicious messages left on my home voicemail, and I had to watch Danny be upset because he was worried that Courtney might do something truly stupid like try to break into the apartment, because she's been so unbalanced. And I defended her, to him, to everyone. I defended her problems to everyone, made excuses for her when she was acting like a spoiled four year old child. And then I got dumped all over, as soon as she had what she wanted, which appeared to have been having her wedding paid for. And pay, I most certainlyl did. Georgia yelled at me because she doesn't want anybody to be taken advantage of. She's a nice lady, and I appreciated what she said. Maybe I give too much, too easily. I don't really think about it while I'm doing it, because it's just who I am.
And I've been spending time with Kat, with Mona, with Stewie, with all of the "friends" that used to be Courtney's. And I like them. They're good people. I've enjoyed getting to know Kat, as the adult woman that she is now, instead of the teenage girl in high school that I only vaguely remember. I have enjoyed getting to know Mona and Doug, because I have things in common with them. I enjoy hanging out with Stew, because he reminds me of a time in my life that I remember fondly. But because I did vaguely know Kat before, she's the one who I focus on when things are going on. I didn't have any history with Mona or Stewie, so to me, what they do, or don't do, never comes as a surprise to me, because there's no comparison factor. But with Kat, it constantly surprises me. She goes out of her way to make sure that I don't end up feeling used. Not that she says anything about it, it's just sort of a gentle nudge that I shouldn't pay for things for her. She splits the bill for lunch. She pays for her own things at the store. She thanks me every time I take her anywhere, even though it's not inconvenient to me at all to take her in the first place. And when Georgia said what she said, about not needing to pay for everything for everyone in order to have friends, I suddenly realized that these "friends" of Courtney's are more friends to me than she was. None of them are interested in me for any money I do or don't have. None of them want anything more complicated than to hang out, and kick back. And I'm guessing that Tony would have fallen into that category too, if it wasn't for Courtney. She suddenly became mercenary, and I hadn't been paying attention, and I got taken in. And she pressured Tony into doing things he didn't want to do, and accepting things he never wanted in the first place, just to appease her. I would have liked to keep Tony as a friend, but I know that isn't possible. It would probably cost him his marriage if he was to acknowledge that I'm not the anti-Christ. And that's okay, it's his decision. I understand the desire to save a marriage. I don't believe in divorce, so I totally understand it. But it hurts me to see how he's treated. Or even to hear about it second-hand. Or third-hand. Or whatever.
Courtney needs to grasp that nobody is out to get her. I'm not going to tiptoe around and go out of my way to avoid her, because that's childish, and would be akin to giving in to a child's tantrum. But neither am I going to go out of my way to contact Tony now, because he doesn't need the extra hassle of listening to her yell any more. At least, not about me. I'm sure she can find other things to be mean about besides me. I'll miss him. I miss her, but not enough to go back into the round robin cycle of trouble that accompanies her. I hope she continues to get therapy, and takes her meds in a way that makes her become stable again, so maybe the person I remember will come back at some point. Her mom would be disappointed to know that she's treating anyone the way she's been treating her friends lately. I know I'm disappointed in what she's suddenly become, but I can't allow it to be my problem anymore. I tried, to the best of my ability to help. I can't keep beating my head against a wall.
The pizza is here, and I'm going to go and finally catch up on all the "Smallville" I'm two months behind in watching. I'm going to shut down the ringers on the phone, the same way I just advised Kat to do, so she could get some rest. I'm going to spend time with my boyfriend/fiance/husband (giggle), and enjoy my life. And I'm going to pet my cat.
Goodnight everybody. Be well. Be happy. Treat others the way you would want to be treated, and tell the people you love that you love them.
So with all the bullshit drama that's going on, I've been venting on here. I probably will continue to do so, because that's how I am. I know more or less what's going on with everybody, because everyone talks to me, and I'm good with that. What I'm not good with is what's happening to Tony. Don't get me wrong, I saw his happy little blog post today. But it smells suspiciously like bullshit. And it smells like bullshit mostly because it probably is. I'm sure he wrote it, with all the spelling mistakes, I'll concede it probably was written by him. I just wonder whether or not Courtney was standing behind him with a crowbar while he wrote it. Seems to me that if things are as warm and fuzzy as claimed, then he'd be going to his friend's homes and hanging out. He'd be going to lake, and enjoying himself, and not going in to be "punished" for having left the house when he gets home. He wouldn't only be speaking to people from work, instead of taking calls at home. When you have to sneak around to talk to people, when you have to claim you hate people that you actually don't hate, something is definitely wrong in your life.
Now, me personally. I don't much care when someone hates me or not. I've been through that particular minefield too many times in my life to even register it anymore. And I can take it or leave it, for the most part, on friendships. I don't go out of my way to hurt anybody. I haven't bothered going out of my way to hurt anyone, physically, emotionally, or any other way in years. I simply don't care that much about other people's opinions anymore.
I was willing to go out of my way to not attend gatherings being held at Tony's friend's houses, because I didn't want him to be forced by Courtney to stay home if I was there. It was mostly a common courtesy gesture on my part, because I know how much Tony means to people like Kat. She loves him like a brother, and she shouldn't have to explain my presence or deal with the shitstorm that ensues because of me, just to be able to spend time with him. And yet, in spite of my *not* going out and hanging out, he still wasn't supposed to go, and Courtney definitely made him pay for it. God ony knows what the hell she does to him besides degrade him and insult him when people are *not* present to see it. She certainly treats him horribly when people are there, s I cringe when I think of how it must be when nobody's there when she's in one of her moods.
It's as though she woke up three days after the wedding, and decided that she was going to be the one in charge of absolutely everything. I know that she was treated like complete shit by her ex-husbands. I know that she's been through quite a bit in the last few years. But I also know that Tony treats her very well indeed, and in return, she treats him like he's some annoying house pet that she tolerates because it's expected, but doesn't actually love. He's supposed to tell her she's wonderful and beautiful and how much he loves her all the time. While at the same time, she calls him stupid and useless and bitches about everything he does, 90% of the time. That isn't love.
See, a decade ago, I wouldn't have seen anything wrong with what she's doing. That was before I got together with Danny. But I've been with Danny now for a long time, and it's taught me what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like. Companionship. Respect. Honesty. Trust. Those are all integral parts of a partnership, and marriage is supposed to be a partnership, not a dictatorship. Courtney should remember that, given how she was treated all those years.
And because of that, I just can't understand what she's doing. I know that she's probably getting feedback from Jennifer about her behaviour, and that Jennifer's probably encouraging it, because I gathered when I came into contact with Jennifer that she still has a 'me me me' complex. I hope for society's sake she outgrows it, but whatever. This isn't high school, and her influence on Court is hurting Tony terribly. And Tony's a nice man, who doesn't deserve to be living in hell constantly.
I've discussed what I think with some of my friends. I just don't understand. I got dumped all over, I got used for a couple thousand dollars worth of stuff. I had the police called on me for threats I never made. I had some truly vicious messages left on my home voicemail, and I had to watch Danny be upset because he was worried that Courtney might do something truly stupid like try to break into the apartment, because she's been so unbalanced. And I defended her, to him, to everyone. I defended her problems to everyone, made excuses for her when she was acting like a spoiled four year old child. And then I got dumped all over, as soon as she had what she wanted, which appeared to have been having her wedding paid for. And pay, I most certainlyl did. Georgia yelled at me because she doesn't want anybody to be taken advantage of. She's a nice lady, and I appreciated what she said. Maybe I give too much, too easily. I don't really think about it while I'm doing it, because it's just who I am.
And I've been spending time with Kat, with Mona, with Stewie, with all of the "friends" that used to be Courtney's. And I like them. They're good people. I've enjoyed getting to know Kat, as the adult woman that she is now, instead of the teenage girl in high school that I only vaguely remember. I have enjoyed getting to know Mona and Doug, because I have things in common with them. I enjoy hanging out with Stew, because he reminds me of a time in my life that I remember fondly. But because I did vaguely know Kat before, she's the one who I focus on when things are going on. I didn't have any history with Mona or Stewie, so to me, what they do, or don't do, never comes as a surprise to me, because there's no comparison factor. But with Kat, it constantly surprises me. She goes out of her way to make sure that I don't end up feeling used. Not that she says anything about it, it's just sort of a gentle nudge that I shouldn't pay for things for her. She splits the bill for lunch. She pays for her own things at the store. She thanks me every time I take her anywhere, even though it's not inconvenient to me at all to take her in the first place. And when Georgia said what she said, about not needing to pay for everything for everyone in order to have friends, I suddenly realized that these "friends" of Courtney's are more friends to me than she was. None of them are interested in me for any money I do or don't have. None of them want anything more complicated than to hang out, and kick back. And I'm guessing that Tony would have fallen into that category too, if it wasn't for Courtney. She suddenly became mercenary, and I hadn't been paying attention, and I got taken in. And she pressured Tony into doing things he didn't want to do, and accepting things he never wanted in the first place, just to appease her. I would have liked to keep Tony as a friend, but I know that isn't possible. It would probably cost him his marriage if he was to acknowledge that I'm not the anti-Christ. And that's okay, it's his decision. I understand the desire to save a marriage. I don't believe in divorce, so I totally understand it. But it hurts me to see how he's treated. Or even to hear about it second-hand. Or third-hand. Or whatever.
Courtney needs to grasp that nobody is out to get her. I'm not going to tiptoe around and go out of my way to avoid her, because that's childish, and would be akin to giving in to a child's tantrum. But neither am I going to go out of my way to contact Tony now, because he doesn't need the extra hassle of listening to her yell any more. At least, not about me. I'm sure she can find other things to be mean about besides me. I'll miss him. I miss her, but not enough to go back into the round robin cycle of trouble that accompanies her. I hope she continues to get therapy, and takes her meds in a way that makes her become stable again, so maybe the person I remember will come back at some point. Her mom would be disappointed to know that she's treating anyone the way she's been treating her friends lately. I know I'm disappointed in what she's suddenly become, but I can't allow it to be my problem anymore. I tried, to the best of my ability to help. I can't keep beating my head against a wall.
The pizza is here, and I'm going to go and finally catch up on all the "Smallville" I'm two months behind in watching. I'm going to shut down the ringers on the phone, the same way I just advised Kat to do, so she could get some rest. I'm going to spend time with my boyfriend/fiance/husband (giggle), and enjoy my life. And I'm going to pet my cat.
Goodnight everybody. Be well. Be happy. Treat others the way you would want to be treated, and tell the people you love that you love them.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
She's fucking batshit crazy
And no, I don't particularly give a crap whether or not she reads this, or whether or not someone tells her about it.
Courtney is fucking nuts. She seems to be under the impression that everything should revolve around her, and that unless things are going her way, everybody else on that planet should be miserable. Which is bullshit.
Danny and I were invite on Sunday to go to a barbecue at Kat & Brandon's. We turned down the invitation because we had other things going on, but partly because I wanted for Tony to be able to go and spend time with his sister without having to deal with Courtney bitching about my presence. Evidently even if I'm not there, she still has to have a bitchfest and try and make him feel bad for wanting to spend time with his friends and family, and not with her. Psychotic much? So pwecious wittle Courtney and pwecious wittle Jennifer had a cow, because I guess they feel that they should get engraved personalized invitations to things? Hell, I don't know. I polled a bunch of people recently and got the same response from everyone. If you're in a relationship and someone invites "you" to somewhere, it's implied that your partner is welcome as well, unless specifically excluded verbally. But I guess if you're pwecious, you have no common sense, and can't grasp common logic. Oh, well.
So yeah. I called over to let Kat know I'd gotten back into town, and said hello to Tony because he was there. Passed along a greeting to Chris as well. Everybody seemed to be having a good time. Chris and Tony's women stayed home, because they're douchebags and wanted to basically ruin everyone else's good time, so nobody was much interested in trying to convince them to go too. (This is supposition on my part, nobody has actually *said* that).
Fast forward to the next day, when the guys were planning on going to the lake. Courtney ties up the phone line for 20 hours straight in the off chance that if nobody can call, she can wreck everybody's plans for the lake. No go, Brandon's too smart for that, and simply goes to the apartment, where I gather Tony put the smack down and went to the lake in spite of Courtney's whining objections. I guess she switched gears and attempted the "but baby spend time with meeeeeee" approach as well, but Tony's getting smarter and can sometimes see through her BS.
So I shoot an email through myspace to Tony to tell him it was nice talking to him the other day, and that I'm glad he's doing well, etc. And that Danny will be joining the boys day at the lake occasionally, and that kind of thing. Cue a response from Courtney *FROM TONY'S ACCOUNT* that tells me to stay away from her and her family and her man, or bad bad things will happen.
By the way, Courtney, go jump in a lake. I don't particularly care what you have to say, or what you think. You don't own anyone but yourself, and not even that, really, since you've been classified nuts by a government agency. You don't own Tony. He can be friends with, talk to, email, talk on the phone to, and spend time with anyone he damned well pleases. And you can suck it.
Oh, and again, Court, not to rain on your parade, but people in glass houses shouldn't cast stones. And I have hard copy now of you threatening me. And the difference between us is that while *you* created a page specifically to try and get me arrested when you knew good and well it was garbage, *I* have actual proof of a threat from you. Which one do you think will garner better results? I can guess, can you?
So, to end my happy little rant here: Courtney has evidently gone completely insane instead of just partly crazy. I don't know what it is that's going on in her head that makes her believe she can do whatever she wants, and have there be no consequences, but that isn't the case. Here in the real world, threats have consequences. Actions have consequences. In the real world, you treat other people decently if they're good to you, and you don't spend your time trying to screw them over.
You also don't spend your time going to parties with your ex-husband, and keeping secrets from your current husband. Bad form.
Grow up. Act like a goddamned adult, not a junior high bitch. Don't pretend you're suicidal, don't threaten divorce or whatever every time your panties get in a bunch. Newsflash...where are you going to go? Oh, that's right. There isn't anywhere. Suck it up.
Oh. And you're a bitch. Have a nice day.
Courtney is fucking nuts. She seems to be under the impression that everything should revolve around her, and that unless things are going her way, everybody else on that planet should be miserable. Which is bullshit.
Danny and I were invite on Sunday to go to a barbecue at Kat & Brandon's. We turned down the invitation because we had other things going on, but partly because I wanted for Tony to be able to go and spend time with his sister without having to deal with Courtney bitching about my presence. Evidently even if I'm not there, she still has to have a bitchfest and try and make him feel bad for wanting to spend time with his friends and family, and not with her. Psychotic much? So pwecious wittle Courtney and pwecious wittle Jennifer had a cow, because I guess they feel that they should get engraved personalized invitations to things? Hell, I don't know. I polled a bunch of people recently and got the same response from everyone. If you're in a relationship and someone invites "you" to somewhere, it's implied that your partner is welcome as well, unless specifically excluded verbally. But I guess if you're pwecious, you have no common sense, and can't grasp common logic. Oh, well.
So yeah. I called over to let Kat know I'd gotten back into town, and said hello to Tony because he was there. Passed along a greeting to Chris as well. Everybody seemed to be having a good time. Chris and Tony's women stayed home, because they're douchebags and wanted to basically ruin everyone else's good time, so nobody was much interested in trying to convince them to go too. (This is supposition on my part, nobody has actually *said* that).
Fast forward to the next day, when the guys were planning on going to the lake. Courtney ties up the phone line for 20 hours straight in the off chance that if nobody can call, she can wreck everybody's plans for the lake. No go, Brandon's too smart for that, and simply goes to the apartment, where I gather Tony put the smack down and went to the lake in spite of Courtney's whining objections. I guess she switched gears and attempted the "but baby spend time with meeeeeee" approach as well, but Tony's getting smarter and can sometimes see through her BS.
So I shoot an email through myspace to Tony to tell him it was nice talking to him the other day, and that I'm glad he's doing well, etc. And that Danny will be joining the boys day at the lake occasionally, and that kind of thing. Cue a response from Courtney *FROM TONY'S ACCOUNT* that tells me to stay away from her and her family and her man, or bad bad things will happen.
By the way, Courtney, go jump in a lake. I don't particularly care what you have to say, or what you think. You don't own anyone but yourself, and not even that, really, since you've been classified nuts by a government agency. You don't own Tony. He can be friends with, talk to, email, talk on the phone to, and spend time with anyone he damned well pleases. And you can suck it.
Oh, and again, Court, not to rain on your parade, but people in glass houses shouldn't cast stones. And I have hard copy now of you threatening me. And the difference between us is that while *you* created a page specifically to try and get me arrested when you knew good and well it was garbage, *I* have actual proof of a threat from you. Which one do you think will garner better results? I can guess, can you?
So, to end my happy little rant here: Courtney has evidently gone completely insane instead of just partly crazy. I don't know what it is that's going on in her head that makes her believe she can do whatever she wants, and have there be no consequences, but that isn't the case. Here in the real world, threats have consequences. Actions have consequences. In the real world, you treat other people decently if they're good to you, and you don't spend your time trying to screw them over.
You also don't spend your time going to parties with your ex-husband, and keeping secrets from your current husband. Bad form.
Grow up. Act like a goddamned adult, not a junior high bitch. Don't pretend you're suicidal, don't threaten divorce or whatever every time your panties get in a bunch. Newsflash...where are you going to go? Oh, that's right. There isn't anywhere. Suck it up.
Oh. And you're a bitch. Have a nice day.
Thursday, April 5, 2007
This is a nice thought
ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their
conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.
FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't
have much.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way
to live life completely.
TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile
and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great
risk..
FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and
responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to
correct it.
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your
voice.
TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their
conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.
FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't
have much.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way
to live life completely.
TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile
and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great
risk..
FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and
responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to
correct it.
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your
voice.
TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.
MacBooks and PowerBooks and iBooks oh my!
Oh *hell* yeah! This would be me, blogging from my BRAND SPANKING NEW MacBook. Danny has indeed inherited my Powerbook G4, and our nice little household is rounded out with a spiffy little iBook owned by my older brother. Danny got me my MacBook for an Easter present instead of a basket, and I love it. It is absolutely the bomb.
I could sit and wax poetic, but I'm sure all of you get the idea.
We'll be doing massive laundry tomorrow, because it needs to be done and Danny has the day off. We were thinking about heading out to Pismo, but we can't find the travel voucher thing for the free rental, so we're not. I'm sure we'll find it eventually and then head out.
There is spicy spaghetti simmering on the stove, and the kids are actually playing nicely together. Danny's reformatting his Mac, with my brother's help, and I'm sitting here nerding out and typing to practice on the new keyboard. It has a slightly different feel than the Powerbook keyboard, the keys are a little spaced, but a much more comfortable *feel* itself for me. I'll get used to it fast I'm sure. It isn't hindering my typing speed very much. I gather I'll get faster yet as I get in more practice, but since I've had use of this for a whopping half an hour, it's all good.
Kat is loving her new laptop, and I'm seriously happy for her, since she's been trying to get one for a good long while. Stewie appears to be working on writing out some stuff, since he has been influenced in a good way by Kat, who is writing a story about her experiences this last year. I'm hoping that Tony and Courtney are doing well, although I only ask occasionally, because it seems somehow inappropriate for me to ask often, given everything that happened. I can see myself getting much closer to both Kat and Mona, as I enjoy the time spent with them, and enjoy our conversations and whatnot. And 'Chelle and I are finally getting back into our groove, which I also missed during the last six or eight months when I was so wrapped up in other things.
Danny and I have been going out and doing things with our friends recently. We've had dinner with Mona, who seriously makes a *fabulous* cheesy goodness filled lasagna. We've had lunch and hung out with Kat and Brandon, which gave Danny a chance to get to know a couple more of my friends. We even spent some time at 'Chelles, hanging out and ripping music I've been itching to get my hands on for a couple of years, but James didn't want the CDs leaving the house, since he's been burned several times by people not returning them. I get that, but I still am thrilled to have the music.
'Chelle and I are doing the gym thing again, regularly. It kicked our asses the first few days, but we're into the groove again now, and it feels damned good to be back. I got a smoothie making machine today that I ordered a few days ago. It's this spiffy little mini-blender, essentially, that makes a 16 oz smoothie to go. It has a little lid to attach, so I'll be able to slam a smoothie out in the morning, before I head out to do the morning run, which will save a lot of money for me, because I won't end up starving and going to grab breakfast/lunch at a restauarant five days a week anymore.
We're actually going to conscientiously start saving money now. Although it's taken us fully a month and a half to try and get out of the hole that the wedding cost us. We're almost even now, and within the next couple of weeks should be completely out of that hole. Once we're out, we're switching to being a cash-family. No more credit cards, no more charging dinner or whatever out. We'll allocate ourselves x amount of money, and that's the money we have for the two weeks between pay periods. Once it's gone, it's gone and we are teh screwed.
But it should result in saving some. I think we'll probably start a savings account shortly, even if it has a crappy interest rate, so I can't see the funds in the checking account. I don't spend what isn't there, so I figure it's in my best interest to get this rolling into an account. Maybe even a Roth IRA instead of a regular savings account. We'll see. Need to check that out a little more.
We even started making menus (and I'm open to ideas from *ANYONE* by the way), so I have a stack of index cards I sort out, and those are what I make grocery lists from. It saved us about 500 dollars on our last grocery run, following the list. And having been cooking, I can see that the lists/menu thing is going to work out well for us. I'm by no means giving up the Schwans (ask if you want to know what that means) delivery stuff, but I've incorporated it into regular actual meals, not on the fly "what's for dinner" sessions.
I think that's enough of a blog for right now, because dinner's almost ready and I want to watch a movie. I'll think of more to write later. Perhaps individual blogs dedicated to my friends. :)
I could sit and wax poetic, but I'm sure all of you get the idea.
We'll be doing massive laundry tomorrow, because it needs to be done and Danny has the day off. We were thinking about heading out to Pismo, but we can't find the travel voucher thing for the free rental, so we're not. I'm sure we'll find it eventually and then head out.
There is spicy spaghetti simmering on the stove, and the kids are actually playing nicely together. Danny's reformatting his Mac, with my brother's help, and I'm sitting here nerding out and typing to practice on the new keyboard. It has a slightly different feel than the Powerbook keyboard, the keys are a little spaced, but a much more comfortable *feel* itself for me. I'll get used to it fast I'm sure. It isn't hindering my typing speed very much. I gather I'll get faster yet as I get in more practice, but since I've had use of this for a whopping half an hour, it's all good.
Kat is loving her new laptop, and I'm seriously happy for her, since she's been trying to get one for a good long while. Stewie appears to be working on writing out some stuff, since he has been influenced in a good way by Kat, who is writing a story about her experiences this last year. I'm hoping that Tony and Courtney are doing well, although I only ask occasionally, because it seems somehow inappropriate for me to ask often, given everything that happened. I can see myself getting much closer to both Kat and Mona, as I enjoy the time spent with them, and enjoy our conversations and whatnot. And 'Chelle and I are finally getting back into our groove, which I also missed during the last six or eight months when I was so wrapped up in other things.
Danny and I have been going out and doing things with our friends recently. We've had dinner with Mona, who seriously makes a *fabulous* cheesy goodness filled lasagna. We've had lunch and hung out with Kat and Brandon, which gave Danny a chance to get to know a couple more of my friends. We even spent some time at 'Chelles, hanging out and ripping music I've been itching to get my hands on for a couple of years, but James didn't want the CDs leaving the house, since he's been burned several times by people not returning them. I get that, but I still am thrilled to have the music.
'Chelle and I are doing the gym thing again, regularly. It kicked our asses the first few days, but we're into the groove again now, and it feels damned good to be back. I got a smoothie making machine today that I ordered a few days ago. It's this spiffy little mini-blender, essentially, that makes a 16 oz smoothie to go. It has a little lid to attach, so I'll be able to slam a smoothie out in the morning, before I head out to do the morning run, which will save a lot of money for me, because I won't end up starving and going to grab breakfast/lunch at a restauarant five days a week anymore.
We're actually going to conscientiously start saving money now. Although it's taken us fully a month and a half to try and get out of the hole that the wedding cost us. We're almost even now, and within the next couple of weeks should be completely out of that hole. Once we're out, we're switching to being a cash-family. No more credit cards, no more charging dinner or whatever out. We'll allocate ourselves x amount of money, and that's the money we have for the two weeks between pay periods. Once it's gone, it's gone and we are teh screwed.
But it should result in saving some. I think we'll probably start a savings account shortly, even if it has a crappy interest rate, so I can't see the funds in the checking account. I don't spend what isn't there, so I figure it's in my best interest to get this rolling into an account. Maybe even a Roth IRA instead of a regular savings account. We'll see. Need to check that out a little more.
We even started making menus (and I'm open to ideas from *ANYONE* by the way), so I have a stack of index cards I sort out, and those are what I make grocery lists from. It saved us about 500 dollars on our last grocery run, following the list. And having been cooking, I can see that the lists/menu thing is going to work out well for us. I'm by no means giving up the Schwans (ask if you want to know what that means) delivery stuff, but I've incorporated it into regular actual meals, not on the fly "what's for dinner" sessions.
I think that's enough of a blog for right now, because dinner's almost ready and I want to watch a movie. I'll think of more to write later. Perhaps individual blogs dedicated to my friends. :)
Monday, April 2, 2007
Kat is an amazing human being
Danny and I have been working on getting Kat a laptop from Craigslist. And it's been an adventure, but not in a good way. We found two, actually. One guy wanted to trade for a PC desktop, but he has a whole group of people he's weeding through to decide who he wants to trade with in the end. And the second guy had what he claimed to be a flawless IBM thinkpad, but it had no Windows, so he was selling it at a steal of a price, which is great. But when we got it home, *after* Kat paid for it, I might add, the hard drive is corrupt, and we can't put Windows onto it. Which means that she won't get it tonight, even though we promised. And I fucking hate that. So, me being me, my solution was to simply give her my Macbook. She won't let me, even though she'd be well within her rights to, but she knows I love my Mac, so she won't let me. Which makes her pretty much an awesome understanding person. Which I'm grateful for. So, much love to Kat for being so compassionate.
The news of the day
There's a title. It's been a hell of a day. My favorite godson is going in for tests, because he had a wicked seizure last night. And I'm worried. I would honestly be worried about anybody who had that kind of a seizure, being that I have a nice grounded reason to fear that sort of shit, but because it's Caleb, I'm even more worried.
In other news, Court's pulling her usual basic bullshit. Heh, and it's pretty obvious now that the 'crys' profile that was created, was created by her...being that, ya know, her brand-new myspace account is, well..that same original page. Who'd've thunk it. Well, *I* thought it, but hey, what do I know, right?
We went and used the jacuzzi last night for the first time here. It was fucking *awesome*. Bubbles, bubbles, everywhere! We had a blast. Definitely worthwhile.
Dana got to ride all around town with me today, doing the courier run and going with Kat to PT. She was pretty good all day. And we went to the park, and just basically bopped all around.
I'm still trying to figure out what I want to do about dinner, because I can't seem to make up my mind, and my kitchen is thrashed because evidentally *no one* except me grasps the fact that a dishwasher is there to be used, and dirty dishes should (gasp) GO IN IT!
Jackie's birthday is today, and Danny's supposed to be going to the Japanese Kitchen to have dinner with her. She's seventeen now. Almost an adult. It's kind of scary to me, because I've actually known her since she was five years old. Seems like time passes so fast that you really do blink and miss it.
And I can't find my second gameboy charger, which is pissing me off in general, since they're usually kept together, and now one's missing. And I only know one other person who has a gameboy. Since I have two, I have two chargers, etc, and I'm guessing my second one mysteriously went with her when she moved out, and if I try to point it out, much screeching and yammering will ensue, even if she did steal it. I'd rather just spend the money to buy a new one than actually listen to the bitch whining about the query. But it still sucks.
Oh, and I got to meet Georgia, finally. She's sort of like the surrogate mom to a lot of people I've been spending time with lately, and she's great. I gather I'm about to get adopted into her group of kids, since she reamed me pretty well about not letting people take advantage of me for money and stuff. She's a neat lady. And she went and helped Kat out to clean up the apartment, since Kat's still not 100% on her feet. But she's damned close! Someone else had told Kat they'd come and help her out once a week to keep things up, but never actually showed up to do it, so Georgia came in and helped out. Yay for Georgia!
Back to dinner...(randomly wanders off to ponder what to have)
In other news, Court's pulling her usual basic bullshit. Heh, and it's pretty obvious now that the 'crys' profile that was created, was created by her...being that, ya know, her brand-new myspace account is, well..that same original page. Who'd've thunk it. Well, *I* thought it, but hey, what do I know, right?
We went and used the jacuzzi last night for the first time here. It was fucking *awesome*. Bubbles, bubbles, everywhere! We had a blast. Definitely worthwhile.
Dana got to ride all around town with me today, doing the courier run and going with Kat to PT. She was pretty good all day. And we went to the park, and just basically bopped all around.
I'm still trying to figure out what I want to do about dinner, because I can't seem to make up my mind, and my kitchen is thrashed because evidentally *no one* except me grasps the fact that a dishwasher is there to be used, and dirty dishes should (gasp) GO IN IT!
Jackie's birthday is today, and Danny's supposed to be going to the Japanese Kitchen to have dinner with her. She's seventeen now. Almost an adult. It's kind of scary to me, because I've actually known her since she was five years old. Seems like time passes so fast that you really do blink and miss it.
And I can't find my second gameboy charger, which is pissing me off in general, since they're usually kept together, and now one's missing. And I only know one other person who has a gameboy. Since I have two, I have two chargers, etc, and I'm guessing my second one mysteriously went with her when she moved out, and if I try to point it out, much screeching and yammering will ensue, even if she did steal it. I'd rather just spend the money to buy a new one than actually listen to the bitch whining about the query. But it still sucks.
Oh, and I got to meet Georgia, finally. She's sort of like the surrogate mom to a lot of people I've been spending time with lately, and she's great. I gather I'm about to get adopted into her group of kids, since she reamed me pretty well about not letting people take advantage of me for money and stuff. She's a neat lady. And she went and helped Kat out to clean up the apartment, since Kat's still not 100% on her feet. But she's damned close! Someone else had told Kat they'd come and help her out once a week to keep things up, but never actually showed up to do it, so Georgia came in and helped out. Yay for Georgia!
Back to dinner...(randomly wanders off to ponder what to have)
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