Time after time

Unless something changes drastically in the next 8 hours, I'll be rolling into Fresno tomorrow morning, and picking up my cat and some more of my stuff, and I'll be gone for a while. I talked to my roommate, and I need to be gone.

I can normally handle a lot of everyone else's problems, without missing a beat. Keep a lot of balls in the air, sort of like a circus juggler. But lately my skills are lacking. And I can't seem to keep things under control in the slightest.

I can't handle the drama in my household. There's too much tension, there's too much stress. There's too much...well, there's just too much, and I'll leave it at that.

And if it was just that, I'd be able to deal. I'd figure out a way to work it out.

But it isn't just that. I have an actual life that I'm dealing with too. And because I have that, and the stress at home, I just couldn't deal. And I ran away. Maybe it was petty, and maybe it's childish and pathetic, but it's what I did. And I don't know what else I can do, but stay gone, and try and deal from a distance.

And I miss you, Phillip. I tried, and I failed. But I miss you. I just wanted you to know that.