Gods, I'm so tired. I am exhausted. Which was obvious by the fact that once I finally passed out sometime last night, I must've been out cold, because Sissa came in and out of my room today, and I didn't wake up until...after nine this morning? And I was out cold. I didn't even really hear her. I knew it had to be coming.
I'm feeling a little morose today. Sissa's trying to cheer me up, but I'm still kind of bumming. Can't put on my sunny smile all the time. I'll bounce back, I know I will. But it still hurts, you know? I'm hoping my book shows up quickly, so I have something to read. Self-help books for the win, right? Besides that, I like non-fiction books sometimes.
I'll probably be running in and out of Fresno Friday, so that I can see the doctor and pick up more stuff. I *might* be crashing there overnight, depending on how tomorrow's phone conversation goes. I'm hoping to not have to be stuck there for the entire weekend. If I can get the second half of what I need done on Saturday, I'll do that, and come back here Saturday right after, and if I can't, then I'm stuck. But I can hope. I don't really want to have to be there until Tuesday. Either way, I have to see the doctor Friday. Yay. Refills, and scheduling an MRI among other things. Being sick is a pain in my ass.
Things are going all right for me. I'm still somewhat conflicted inside of my head, but that's mostly because I just don't know what I want to do personally. I feel like I don't know what to do with my life, and that's very hard for me. Changing my whole life is very hard. And I'm scared. I'm not used to being this frightened. I never thought I would be afraid.
I do know that I need to do something different than what I was doing. Going around in circles was getting me nowhere. Walking in place did nothing for me. And staying in place and being in pain wasn't helping me or anyone else.
**Currently playing: Scars - Papa Roach**
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2 comments:
You don't have to be sunny all the time, I promise!
Ok, right now, before reading any further, go to your window and open it up, letting in the breeze, seeing the sky. Now, open my blogspot in another window, let the player play, and just listen as you read along...
Dear Prudence, won't you come out to play?
Dear Prudence, greet the brand new day
The sun is up, the sky is blue
It's beautiful and so are you
Dear Prudence, won't you come out to play?
Dear Prudence, open up your eyes
Dear Prudence, see the sunny skies
The wind is low, the birds will sing
That you are part of everything
Dear Prudence, won't you open up your eyes?
Look around round
Look around round round
Look around
Dear Prudence, let me see you smile
Dear Prudence, like a little child
The clouds will be a daisy chain
So let me see you smile again
Dear Prudence, won't you let me see your smile?
Dear Prudence, won't you come out to play?
Dear Prudence, greet the brand new day
The sun is up, the sky is blue
It's beautiful and so are you
Dear Prudence, won't you come out to play?
I know you're name is Prudence, but you are a very prudent person. :p Anyway, reading your blog today I just wanted you to hear this song, know it's words, and know I'm sending it, singing it, wishing it to you. Love you.
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