I am frustrated by a lack of information, and vexed because I'm worried, so worried that something has gone catastrophically wrong, and I have no way of knowing whether or not that's true. And this is not some matter of simply swallowing my pride, and calling to find out what happened, if it was, I'd just suck it up. It's that my presence will simply make it worse, and so I'm forced to sit here and just wait for the information to appear, somewhere. And that has to be the most stifling and impossible thing for me to deal with.

It's very hard, to know that someone is in trouble, and be powerless to help him. And to have to just wait it out until he can get hold of me, and tell me that he's at least safe and tell me how things turned out. I know he got my messages, because he sent one back telling me to just hold on, and he'll let me know what's going on, that he wants the flow of information stemmed. And I guess I understand, but it's still difficult. Because I *am* concerned, and I love him, and that places me in an impossible situation. Anything I do makes it worse, anything he does to reach me makes it worse. It all sucks equally.

I just hope he's okay.