He said/She said

Today, in an email, someone gave me a long list of people who said that I'd said this thing, or that thing, about them. And it was interesting, to read it. Because in retrospect, and I truly did have to sit and think about it for a bit, because the statements spanned several years, and my memory is rather lousy, and it involved multiple people.

And after some serious consideration, and a pen and paper, I managed to work out who said what to whom, and how the statements came to be. I had in fact actually even made some of the statements. What I found interesting about the entire situation, and what I in the end chose to not actually respond with, at length, was that the other people managed to make themselves, in every single case, look good. As though they hadn't ever said anything negative about that person in the first place.

Certainly, I'm not a saint by any stretch of the imagination, and neither is anyone else. But for the most part, a lot of the finger-pointing, and basic shit-talking that was pointed at me? Wasn't actually originated by me, and the people who passed it all along? Pointed it directly at me, as though I sat down, and slandered somebody, when in fact I just kind of was along for the ride, and I found that sort of funny.

With the notable exception of one of the people who leveled the accusations at me, every single other person on the list had told me how much they hated them. Couldn't stand them, and had spent a fair amount of time and energy spewing vitriol in their general direction.

Which just went to show how two-faced people actually can be, and are. I wasn't surprised at the notable exception, as he has, over time, proven to be quite an upstanding guy, and he tends to say what he feels, and everyone else can pretty much piss off if they don't like it. I kind of like that about him. Which is why I still like talking to him, even when we have our differences. Makes him rather lovable. In a weird sort of way.

And I really did want to sit down, and draw a picture for them, of all the crappy things the others had said, and decided it just wasn't worth it. It was a long time ago, and it doesn't much matter who said what to whom now. I suspect that some of them are still 'friends' such as it is. I'm not actually friends, or for the most part not even loose acquaintances with any of them anymore. The notable exception being the exception, and he'd know and understand my reasoning if I explained what was going on right now.

Time has passed, and a lot of us have grown up, and moved on. Some people might not have, but the two of us, apparently have. I was surprised to find that I guess we did. I told them quite clearly that I'm not looking for friends, not really. Neither am I rejecting acquaintances, simply for the sake of being snotty. Enough time has passed between us, from the past, for me to not be a bitch just to be a bitch. I honestly don't remember all of what went down between us, and there's no animosity left for me to level.

Do I trust? No. Am I going to invite them over for coffee and donuts? Nope. But am I going to send snide comments, and spread snide rumors? Nah, there's no reason. Hats off to maturity, on both our parts.