It's that time again, internets! That's right, people!
And this week's word has some help from my friend Brandon, who contributed, along with some help from Jason, so thanks to them.
Ladies and gents, I give you:
Twatcake! That's right, do you eat your twatcakes for breakfast? Lunch? It does your body good! Danny recommends it for Fourthmeal!
Kat recommends Linner! Brandon says let's have brunch!
Mona says anytime is good for her people! Midnight snacks!
What kind of syrup do *you* use on your twatcakes? Raspberry? Regular? Maple? Mona says coolwhip! Gene Wilder says Snozzberry! The Amish, they use butter! And they churn that shit themselves.
How about cookie dough? And yes, always always involve chocolate with your twatcake.
Have a nice day internets.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Saturday, September 29, 2007
I'm my own worst enemy...
What's going on in the world of Controversy? All kinds of things, actually. Today was a day of introspection. It didn't actually begin that way. I'm sort of surprised it ended up that way, but that's how it was.
My original plan for the day was supposed to be loafing. A featured pajama party. Just hanging out and watching movies. That was it. Not much. Nothing overly exciting. As the day progressed, that slowly changed. It went from a regular pajama party, to a lingerie pajama party. From a PJ party with lingerie, to a lingerie PJ with a couple extra people. Plans changed, things were restructured.
I ended up running around like a madwoman, helping out a friend with some moving stuff that she had going on. Drove all over town, and picked up some stuff at the Whole Foods. Love that store, they have such neat stuff. Tooled around town, did a bunch of other stuff.
Came home, after essentially having been running about two hours behind schedule all day, *finally* made it into a shower and showed up at the PJ turned into a lingerie party. Albeit a couple of hours later than I'd planned, I was ready to have a good time. Brought out the new camera, and prepared to have fun. Good friends, good fun, right? Everything right with the world?
You'd think so. I thought so. I was laughing. At least, I thought I was...One of my friend's kids got a little spooked when it was time for her to be taken home, so her mom went with her, which left me there. Not a big deal, really. But I kept thinking while I was sitting there, that I'd rather have been doing something other than what I was doing...
I don't smoke, and so I was sitting alone in the living room while the others smoke in the other room. As what started out as five minutes drifted into ten, then into a half hour, then into a full hour with me sitting alone, and I realized that I would rather have been doing something else...I left. And no one even noticed my absence.
And I'm not altogether sure how I feel about that. I'm not angry. I could easily have simply gone to the bedroom and knocked, I suppose. Said something along the lines of "Hey, hello? What happened to you guys?" As it was, I did send a message of some sort to a cell phone snarking about longest cigarette ever, about a half hour into their hour and a half sojourn in the bedroom, before my departure. No response.
I guess I'm ambivalent. I left, and I drove around for a while. I had to think about things. I eventually parked the car and just sat for a bit, listening to the radio. Called and talked to Mona at home, so I could run by her what I was thinking, and confirmed that a lot of what I was thinking was more or less on par with what she'd been feeling earlier in the day, so at least I wasn't insane. Or if I'm insane, we're insane together.
I talked to Danny, told him what I was thinking about, and why I was coming home, and how I felt...it was strange...all the things I was paranoid about didn't matter.
There are still two people inside my head, and I still need time to sort out which person I'm going to need to decide will end up with dominance. But I know now, without needing to think on it any further...while my brain is having a hard time keeping up with the words coming out of my mouth, the instinct that's taking over from a time long past, old habits just popping out. My actions themselves are working fine. I'm running on a comfortable auto-pilot of a person I'm comfortable with.
The person I'm comfortable with is not the girl who wears clothes that put cleavage on display. It isn't a person who feels a need to flaunt something to the world. I am comfortable with some aspects of myself, and not with others, and I know where my middle ground is, and will remain there. I don't need to be someone I'm not. I can be who I am, and that's alright. I was trying, tonight, to be someone that I was a long time ago...and I'm not that girl anymore. And that's alright. I don't need to be her anymore.
The person I am was more comfortable in the shirt I wore to breakfast than the fuschia sparkle top I wore to dinner. More comfortable in the jeans than in the capris. Sneakers instead of sandals. And that's just me. I can look attractive in my own way, without needing to be somebody I'm not. I thought I wanted to be that girl again...And I was wrong. I thought I wanted to try and turn the clock back to a time when things were different. I don't think I do.
If you've read this far, whoever you are that's reading this, you've got a lot of patience, as it's damn near two o'clock in the morning, and *I* am barely coherent enough to be reading it.
I will re-read this tomorrow, and probably try a secondary post then, but I needed to try and get some of this out of my head in order to get some sleep. I have plans off and on for the rest of the weekend. Will be cooking and baking Saturday and Sunday both. Mountains of laundry. Must go grocery shopping. There's football as always on Sunday. Mental note: make grocery list.
My original plan for the day was supposed to be loafing. A featured pajama party. Just hanging out and watching movies. That was it. Not much. Nothing overly exciting. As the day progressed, that slowly changed. It went from a regular pajama party, to a lingerie pajama party. From a PJ party with lingerie, to a lingerie PJ with a couple extra people. Plans changed, things were restructured.
I ended up running around like a madwoman, helping out a friend with some moving stuff that she had going on. Drove all over town, and picked up some stuff at the Whole Foods. Love that store, they have such neat stuff. Tooled around town, did a bunch of other stuff.
Came home, after essentially having been running about two hours behind schedule all day, *finally* made it into a shower and showed up at the PJ turned into a lingerie party. Albeit a couple of hours later than I'd planned, I was ready to have a good time. Brought out the new camera, and prepared to have fun. Good friends, good fun, right? Everything right with the world?
You'd think so. I thought so. I was laughing. At least, I thought I was...One of my friend's kids got a little spooked when it was time for her to be taken home, so her mom went with her, which left me there. Not a big deal, really. But I kept thinking while I was sitting there, that I'd rather have been doing something other than what I was doing...
I don't smoke, and so I was sitting alone in the living room while the others smoke in the other room. As what started out as five minutes drifted into ten, then into a half hour, then into a full hour with me sitting alone, and I realized that I would rather have been doing something else...I left. And no one even noticed my absence.
And I'm not altogether sure how I feel about that. I'm not angry. I could easily have simply gone to the bedroom and knocked, I suppose. Said something along the lines of "Hey, hello? What happened to you guys?" As it was, I did send a message of some sort to a cell phone snarking about longest cigarette ever, about a half hour into their hour and a half sojourn in the bedroom, before my departure. No response.
I guess I'm ambivalent. I left, and I drove around for a while. I had to think about things. I eventually parked the car and just sat for a bit, listening to the radio. Called and talked to Mona at home, so I could run by her what I was thinking, and confirmed that a lot of what I was thinking was more or less on par with what she'd been feeling earlier in the day, so at least I wasn't insane. Or if I'm insane, we're insane together.
I talked to Danny, told him what I was thinking about, and why I was coming home, and how I felt...it was strange...all the things I was paranoid about didn't matter.
There are still two people inside my head, and I still need time to sort out which person I'm going to need to decide will end up with dominance. But I know now, without needing to think on it any further...while my brain is having a hard time keeping up with the words coming out of my mouth, the instinct that's taking over from a time long past, old habits just popping out. My actions themselves are working fine. I'm running on a comfortable auto-pilot of a person I'm comfortable with.
The person I'm comfortable with is not the girl who wears clothes that put cleavage on display. It isn't a person who feels a need to flaunt something to the world. I am comfortable with some aspects of myself, and not with others, and I know where my middle ground is, and will remain there. I don't need to be someone I'm not. I can be who I am, and that's alright. I was trying, tonight, to be someone that I was a long time ago...and I'm not that girl anymore. And that's alright. I don't need to be her anymore.
The person I am was more comfortable in the shirt I wore to breakfast than the fuschia sparkle top I wore to dinner. More comfortable in the jeans than in the capris. Sneakers instead of sandals. And that's just me. I can look attractive in my own way, without needing to be somebody I'm not. I thought I wanted to be that girl again...And I was wrong. I thought I wanted to try and turn the clock back to a time when things were different. I don't think I do.
If you've read this far, whoever you are that's reading this, you've got a lot of patience, as it's damn near two o'clock in the morning, and *I* am barely coherent enough to be reading it.
I will re-read this tomorrow, and probably try a secondary post then, but I needed to try and get some of this out of my head in order to get some sleep. I have plans off and on for the rest of the weekend. Will be cooking and baking Saturday and Sunday both. Mountains of laundry. Must go grocery shopping. There's football as always on Sunday. Mental note: make grocery list.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Midnight musings
I don't even know where to begin...
My brother has moved on. He's heading back up north, to the Portland/Seattle area again, back to his regular life. Things are trickling along here, doing whatever it is they're going to be doing for a while, and that's more or less as much as I'm willing to tag on here for a bit.
I've been enjoying Mona's company during her lunch breaks immensely lately, because it turns out I'm quite close to her work, and as a result during her hour long lunch, she has enough time to bop over and eat here. It's very pleasant and she is excellent company.
The neurological exam is all systems go, and all lights green. Things are looking up. I feel pretty good, actually, in a completely physical sense. I hope it continues. I'm back behind the wheel of my car, although I won't be doing much of it, because I do still want to continue conserving the gas. But it's nice to know I'm in control of it just the same.
We got the Saturn tagged, although we had to pay a late fee, because DMV sucks nuts, and while we notified them that we'd moved, they only updated Danny's license, not his registration tags. Idiots. But at least it's handled. So both cars are good for another year.
For those of you who are familiar with my random musings, I'm doing alright. I'm a little scattered, because I have a lot on my mind lately. Concerns for my friends, concerns for myself. As usual, things will be fine. I will be alright, as I always am. I appreciate the concern, and if I need you, rest assured, I'll ask for help. To those who have come flying to my rescue recently, thank you in ways I cannot begin to express. For those whose shoulders have been available to me to cry on, and whose arms have held me while I cried...I needed it. Even though I don't like admitting it. So thanks, because it's rare indeed for me to ask for help, and I'm both amazed and grateful to you for dropping everything and coming when I needed you most, and holding me when I needed nothing more. And asking nothing in return. I love you.
With that, I need to go and find something to eat, and spend some time with my sorely neglected cat, who thinks the sky is falling and his world is ending. Goodnight internets. Goodnight readers. Sleep well. Have happy dreams. Blessed be.
My brother has moved on. He's heading back up north, to the Portland/Seattle area again, back to his regular life. Things are trickling along here, doing whatever it is they're going to be doing for a while, and that's more or less as much as I'm willing to tag on here for a bit.
I've been enjoying Mona's company during her lunch breaks immensely lately, because it turns out I'm quite close to her work, and as a result during her hour long lunch, she has enough time to bop over and eat here. It's very pleasant and she is excellent company.
The neurological exam is all systems go, and all lights green. Things are looking up. I feel pretty good, actually, in a completely physical sense. I hope it continues. I'm back behind the wheel of my car, although I won't be doing much of it, because I do still want to continue conserving the gas. But it's nice to know I'm in control of it just the same.
We got the Saturn tagged, although we had to pay a late fee, because DMV sucks nuts, and while we notified them that we'd moved, they only updated Danny's license, not his registration tags. Idiots. But at least it's handled. So both cars are good for another year.
For those of you who are familiar with my random musings, I'm doing alright. I'm a little scattered, because I have a lot on my mind lately. Concerns for my friends, concerns for myself. As usual, things will be fine. I will be alright, as I always am. I appreciate the concern, and if I need you, rest assured, I'll ask for help. To those who have come flying to my rescue recently, thank you in ways I cannot begin to express. For those whose shoulders have been available to me to cry on, and whose arms have held me while I cried...I needed it. Even though I don't like admitting it. So thanks, because it's rare indeed for me to ask for help, and I'm both amazed and grateful to you for dropping everything and coming when I needed you most, and holding me when I needed nothing more. And asking nothing in return. I love you.
With that, I need to go and find something to eat, and spend some time with my sorely neglected cat, who thinks the sky is falling and his world is ending. Goodnight internets. Goodnight readers. Sleep well. Have happy dreams. Blessed be.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Excitement, adventure
And waiting for people to wake up really sucks. Which is currently all I'm doing. I'm sitting here, at four in the morning, waiting for someone else to wake up. So that I can go downtown, and play at the Channel 30 broadcasting station, and look at all the cool stuff. Which is awesome. I didn't think I'd actually get to do it when I asked B if there was a way for me to get to watch him do his job, so imagine my surprise when he said since he's head honcho on the weekend broadcasts, that sure, come on down! WOO HOOOOOOO!
So, it's four in the morning, and I'm waiting for Danny to wake up, so we can go downtown to the station and watch B work. And check out all the cool gizmos that make broadcasting possible. Satellites and sound boards and video boards and cameras oh my!
Yes, I'm a nerd. I am totally cool with my nerd status when it comes to this type of equipment. Besides, I've been waking up at the strangest hours anyhow lately, so at least going and doing something at four a.m. has a more productive end result than blogging for the day.
And my day is going to end up busy as hell. There will be football. There will be cooking. There will be breakfast with friends. There will be laundry. Ick. Driving. Blogging. Well, those are pretty much givens. The fun at the TV station. I am excited. Now if only I could guarantee that Starbucks was open this early in the freaking morning, and I doubt that it is, which is a pain in my arse. Darn. Ah, well. I shall make do...possibly with an Oreo shake from Jack in the Box?
Mmmmm.....
So, it's four in the morning, and I'm waiting for Danny to wake up, so we can go downtown to the station and watch B work. And check out all the cool gizmos that make broadcasting possible. Satellites and sound boards and video boards and cameras oh my!
Yes, I'm a nerd. I am totally cool with my nerd status when it comes to this type of equipment. Besides, I've been waking up at the strangest hours anyhow lately, so at least going and doing something at four a.m. has a more productive end result than blogging for the day.
And my day is going to end up busy as hell. There will be football. There will be cooking. There will be breakfast with friends. There will be laundry. Ick. Driving. Blogging. Well, those are pretty much givens. The fun at the TV station. I am excited. Now if only I could guarantee that Starbucks was open this early in the freaking morning, and I doubt that it is, which is a pain in my arse. Darn. Ah, well. I shall make do...possibly with an Oreo shake from Jack in the Box?
Mmmmm.....
It's that time again!
That's right, it's that time of the week again...It's the weekly update of the secret word of the week!
Last week's word of the week was cackwhore, and as promised, here's the translation and explanation:
A cackwhore, for those of you who didn't follow what the hell I was talking about is a crossover word. It's a cross between a cock-knocker and a crackwhore. I was in the middle of a rant last week, talking to a friend, and I just kind of spit out "cackwhore", and it stuck. Thus ending up with 'cackwhore' as the word of the week.
This week's word of the week was decided a few days later, in honor of my friend Mona, and even though it's a little off-center for me personally, it will still be designated, as I promised it would.
Ladies and gents, the secret word of the week:
Shit-tastic!
That's right, I bring you shit-tastic! For all your lousy week needs, you have shit-tastic to get you through your day! Use it, love it, spread the wealth!
Last week's word of the week was cackwhore, and as promised, here's the translation and explanation:
A cackwhore, for those of you who didn't follow what the hell I was talking about is a crossover word. It's a cross between a cock-knocker and a crackwhore. I was in the middle of a rant last week, talking to a friend, and I just kind of spit out "cackwhore", and it stuck. Thus ending up with 'cackwhore' as the word of the week.
This week's word of the week was decided a few days later, in honor of my friend Mona, and even though it's a little off-center for me personally, it will still be designated, as I promised it would.
Ladies and gents, the secret word of the week:
Shit-tastic!
That's right, I bring you shit-tastic! For all your lousy week needs, you have shit-tastic to get you through your day! Use it, love it, spread the wealth!
Friday, September 21, 2007
Peace and harmony in...
I probably should have gotten around to this earlier, but I was lagging. So much to do, so...well, I'd've said little time, but that was bogus. I was out most of yesterday and when I got home, I ended up watching Prince's "Purple Rain" in HD. Love it. Whee. Comcastic is still sucking nuts, so I still don't have stable internets, so bear with me peoples.
Updates from the doctors: my brain is ticking along just fine. I sent out a mass text to everybody who was in my cell when I came out of the office yesterday. Note to everybody: If you didn't get that text, it means I don't have your cell phone numbers, and you need to contact me and give them to me. I really did mass send that message. The gist of it was this: Seizures are going to stop. EEG results are in, and the cause *is* that the scarring from my resection is the only cause. The meds are working and should continue to do so, and I'll be a real person! He told me to come back in six months and tell him how I'm feeling. I can't even remember the last time a freaking doctor told me that.
I'm still freezing cold, because my body temperature's still having issues stabilizing. My wonder anti-seizure medication can only do so much. And you know what? I'm okay with that. Blankets FTW! Heh. I got to run all over town yesterday wearing a long sleeved shirt. It was awesome. About damned time. Summer-be-gone!
Today will be spent with Kat, for the most part. Danny's back at work for the only day this week. Heh. And then I can play with the wonderful, beautiful camera over the weekend. *SO* looking forward to that. Might even go out in public with it. To the park or wherever. Oh, the pretty pictures, how they speak to me. My pretties. Hehehehe. Yes, I am insane. We knew that.
I am still sort of walking around in a daze about those test results from yesterday. I just can't quite wrap my mind around the fact that it's going to be okay again. Really okay. Thing is, the "miracle pills" do a lot of things. I mean, they can't cook me breakfast...well, they don't really need to. But they're a mood stabilizer, which makes them more effective than the anti-depressants that I was on. I can laugh. I can cry. I can get angry, or sad, or happy...without the extreme roller-coaster I've been going on for the last I-honestly-can't-remember-how-long. And it's a visible difference, personality wise. Everyone who has spent time with me in the last few years, and has spent time with me in the last few *weeks* can visibly see the difference...And that difference is that the underlying misery isn't there. The anger just isn't there. And I like it. I like not hating everything. Had I known that there was a pill for that, I'd've been asking for it years and years ago. I didn't know that normal *was* an option.
I always knew there was something wrong, but I didn't really think it was a chemical something. I just figured it was something fundamentally wrong with me, and I had to deal.
Yay for chemical corrections!
Updates from the doctors: my brain is ticking along just fine. I sent out a mass text to everybody who was in my cell when I came out of the office yesterday. Note to everybody: If you didn't get that text, it means I don't have your cell phone numbers, and you need to contact me and give them to me. I really did mass send that message. The gist of it was this: Seizures are going to stop. EEG results are in, and the cause *is* that the scarring from my resection is the only cause. The meds are working and should continue to do so, and I'll be a real person! He told me to come back in six months and tell him how I'm feeling. I can't even remember the last time a freaking doctor told me that.
I'm still freezing cold, because my body temperature's still having issues stabilizing. My wonder anti-seizure medication can only do so much. And you know what? I'm okay with that. Blankets FTW! Heh. I got to run all over town yesterday wearing a long sleeved shirt. It was awesome. About damned time. Summer-be-gone!
Today will be spent with Kat, for the most part. Danny's back at work for the only day this week. Heh. And then I can play with the wonderful, beautiful camera over the weekend. *SO* looking forward to that. Might even go out in public with it. To the park or wherever. Oh, the pretty pictures, how they speak to me. My pretties. Hehehehe. Yes, I am insane. We knew that.
I am still sort of walking around in a daze about those test results from yesterday. I just can't quite wrap my mind around the fact that it's going to be okay again. Really okay. Thing is, the "miracle pills" do a lot of things. I mean, they can't cook me breakfast...well, they don't really need to. But they're a mood stabilizer, which makes them more effective than the anti-depressants that I was on. I can laugh. I can cry. I can get angry, or sad, or happy...without the extreme roller-coaster I've been going on for the last I-honestly-can't-remember-how-long. And it's a visible difference, personality wise. Everyone who has spent time with me in the last few years, and has spent time with me in the last few *weeks* can visibly see the difference...And that difference is that the underlying misery isn't there. The anger just isn't there. And I like it. I like not hating everything. Had I known that there was a pill for that, I'd've been asking for it years and years ago. I didn't know that normal *was* an option.
I always knew there was something wrong, but I didn't really think it was a chemical something. I just figured it was something fundamentally wrong with me, and I had to deal.
Yay for chemical corrections!
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Skip this entry if you don't want to read my whining:
I'm cold, I'm tired, and I'm grouchy. And I still as of this moment, have no working internets. Doctor's appointment in t-minus three hours or so. I don't feel so great, either, just to add to the fun. I suppose it's mostly just nerves and crankiness, but I feel like shit. I need to take the thunderbird in and get gas, and get it washed. I should pick up a car cover today too, while we're out and about. I keep meaning to do that, and never quite get around to it. I wonder if they sell that kind of thing at Target, since that's primarily where I'll be after I go to the doctor? I suppose I should look.
My poor car spends most of it's time just sitting and I'm tired of watching the poor thing always be covered in dust, so I want to get it a car cover. Ergo, the trying to locate one. Which I never remember to do until it's dusty again. I suck. And I need to look for a few decent books for Jami to take to Richard for him to read, because I said I'd keep an eye out. And return my library books. And get hair clips. Maybe I should make a list? I'm almost too tired to even want to do that. Weird.
Heh. Arriving in my mailbox today *should* be Prince's "Purple Rain"...In HD. Hehehehe. Haven't seen that in years. Whole lot of cheese factor there, but I like the movie, and so that's what we'll be watching tonight most likely. We filled the Netflix queue with a bunch of HD movies and they're set to ship one right after another, and it's a rather random list. I think TMNT is on there somewhere. Transformers should be dropping for release in the next month, but that one we'll buy outright, because, dude, *Transformers*!!!!. Loved that. It was gorgeous. I probably won't spend the money for HD Fantastic Four. I'm not even sure what else is slated to drop for release in the next couple of months. I should probably look into that.
My friend Kat got a job, so we're all proud of her. YAY!! Way to go, Kat! (This being a big deal, because she got injured a year or so ago and had to do *major* physical therapy, they had to replace almost her entire thigh, etc.) And I think she's going to enjoy the fact that she's a real live person again, instead of, as she put it, a leech on society. Now she really does need to update her information, because if she's working, she really can't be a leech on society. People with jobs don't get to refer to themselves that way. Heh. So yeah, three cheers for Kat :)
It seems that summer in the godforsaken valley is finally coming to a close, as I've had windows open and not been running air conditioning for days now. Might even get to wear a sweater soon. There's a storm rolling in, even if it only lasts for a day, the clouds have been here since yesterday. The high yesterday was 69 degrees, and I was thrilled. Begone ye evil one hundred plus degree weather! Begone, I say! Ever day that passes brings me one day closer to the hope of being able to get the hell out of here, and move up towards the Washington/Oregon area. One day...It shall happen one day...
Danny's little sister's best friend (did you like that? I finally got to play the Kevin Bacon six-connect game) will be leaving in a couple of days, heading off to college for the first time. She's heading out to UC Santa Barbara, to major in Psychology. KeddyBear is a really smart woman, with a huge heart who has had a major impact on JB over the last several years, and as I've learned, she is an amazing person. And I've learned this in two ways. The first being watching her influence on JB herself. She's helped JB to become the person she is still becoming, and that's quite impressive on its own. I have to say I'm very pleased with the person that is. And the second is having gotten a chance to talk to Keddy herself. She's incredibly intelligent. Well-spoken, when she chooses to be. Articulate. She has plans and goals, and has given some thought to what she wants and where she's going with her life. And with all of that, she still has taken the time to give support and love to her friends, the ones who are left behind as she leaves to start her new life somewhere else. And it takes a very special kind of person to see that as they go rushing off to a new experience like college. And that impresses me. So, good luck to Keddy as she heads to UCSB, and best wishes and all that, and congratulations. And thanks for what she's done for JB. She'll be well-looked after, until she gets out of school and can stand on her own two feets. You are well-loved Keddy, and you'll be well-missed by the peoples in the the valley.
And now, I've run out of blog-time, as I have to go start my day, so until next time, internets. Or at least until later today, when I shall be in possession of more than another fifteen minutes with which to use my blogspot :P
My poor car spends most of it's time just sitting and I'm tired of watching the poor thing always be covered in dust, so I want to get it a car cover. Ergo, the trying to locate one. Which I never remember to do until it's dusty again. I suck. And I need to look for a few decent books for Jami to take to Richard for him to read, because I said I'd keep an eye out. And return my library books. And get hair clips. Maybe I should make a list? I'm almost too tired to even want to do that. Weird.
Heh. Arriving in my mailbox today *should* be Prince's "Purple Rain"...In HD. Hehehehe. Haven't seen that in years. Whole lot of cheese factor there, but I like the movie, and so that's what we'll be watching tonight most likely. We filled the Netflix queue with a bunch of HD movies and they're set to ship one right after another, and it's a rather random list. I think TMNT is on there somewhere. Transformers should be dropping for release in the next month, but that one we'll buy outright, because, dude, *Transformers*!!!!. Loved that. It was gorgeous. I probably won't spend the money for HD Fantastic Four. I'm not even sure what else is slated to drop for release in the next couple of months. I should probably look into that.
My friend Kat got a job, so we're all proud of her. YAY!! Way to go, Kat! (This being a big deal, because she got injured a year or so ago and had to do *major* physical therapy, they had to replace almost her entire thigh, etc.) And I think she's going to enjoy the fact that she's a real live person again, instead of, as she put it, a leech on society. Now she really does need to update her information, because if she's working, she really can't be a leech on society. People with jobs don't get to refer to themselves that way. Heh. So yeah, three cheers for Kat :)
It seems that summer in the godforsaken valley is finally coming to a close, as I've had windows open and not been running air conditioning for days now. Might even get to wear a sweater soon. There's a storm rolling in, even if it only lasts for a day, the clouds have been here since yesterday. The high yesterday was 69 degrees, and I was thrilled. Begone ye evil one hundred plus degree weather! Begone, I say! Ever day that passes brings me one day closer to the hope of being able to get the hell out of here, and move up towards the Washington/Oregon area. One day...It shall happen one day...
Danny's little sister's best friend (did you like that? I finally got to play the Kevin Bacon six-connect game) will be leaving in a couple of days, heading off to college for the first time. She's heading out to UC Santa Barbara, to major in Psychology. KeddyBear is a really smart woman, with a huge heart who has had a major impact on JB over the last several years, and as I've learned, she is an amazing person. And I've learned this in two ways. The first being watching her influence on JB herself. She's helped JB to become the person she is still becoming, and that's quite impressive on its own. I have to say I'm very pleased with the person that is. And the second is having gotten a chance to talk to Keddy herself. She's incredibly intelligent. Well-spoken, when she chooses to be. Articulate. She has plans and goals, and has given some thought to what she wants and where she's going with her life. And with all of that, she still has taken the time to give support and love to her friends, the ones who are left behind as she leaves to start her new life somewhere else. And it takes a very special kind of person to see that as they go rushing off to a new experience like college. And that impresses me. So, good luck to Keddy as she heads to UCSB, and best wishes and all that, and congratulations. And thanks for what she's done for JB. She'll be well-looked after, until she gets out of school and can stand on her own two feets. You are well-loved Keddy, and you'll be well-missed by the peoples in the the valley.
And now, I've run out of blog-time, as I have to go start my day, so until next time, internets. Or at least until later today, when I shall be in possession of more than another fifteen minutes with which to use my blogspot :P
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
I miss you...
I miss you...There's no other way to say it. And I...I can't deny it...
I'm talking about my internets, of course. Comcast are being right bastards, and my internets are missing! I have bundled services with them, it's a new thing, and we're still working out the wrinkles. Suffice it to say, right now, I'm not at all pleased with the new way things are working. I probably will be in the end, but right now, not at all.
I am, however, very pleased with the new HD-DVD player quality we've got going on. And we picked up a new Comcast HDMI TV box, not sure how that'll work out. I'm told it'll give completely clear digital signal, though I can't confirm that yet, as I don't have all the proper cables hooked up. But the quality on the DVD is phenomenal.
I miss other things as well. Perhaps at some point they will pull their heads from their bums. One can hope.
I'm talking about my internets, of course. Comcast are being right bastards, and my internets are missing! I have bundled services with them, it's a new thing, and we're still working out the wrinkles. Suffice it to say, right now, I'm not at all pleased with the new way things are working. I probably will be in the end, but right now, not at all.
I am, however, very pleased with the new HD-DVD player quality we've got going on. And we picked up a new Comcast HDMI TV box, not sure how that'll work out. I'm told it'll give completely clear digital signal, though I can't confirm that yet, as I don't have all the proper cables hooked up. But the quality on the DVD is phenomenal.
I miss other things as well. Perhaps at some point they will pull their heads from their bums. One can hope.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Which would you prefer?
Truth be told...When the chips are down, do you honestly want your friend to have your back? Do you want their actions to match their words, no matter what, or do you want them to simply say the words?
I was informed this morning that I can be *scary*. Isn't that nice? People fear me. I've known that for a while. It isn't exactly news to me. I asked what it is about me that's so frightening.
People seem to fear me, because I won't pull a punch, and I have no compunctions about doing the difficult thing when the chips are down. If you tell me you're in the rock and hard place position and can't make the decision, I can make the hard choice. Even when it sucks. I can be the asshole. Even when it costs me a friend, if in the end, it means that someone I love or care about ends up standing on their own two feet, in one piece and happy, I can be the one who ends up alone if they end up okay.
So that makes me scary? I won't apologize for that. And I had to try to articulate that. I had to sit and try to make sense of it in a way for someone else to understand. Yes, I am domineering. Yes, I have a very weird set of personal standards.
But when it comes right down to it, who do *you* want at your back? Do you really want the friend who mouths the right words about how much they care about you? Or do you want the friend who will step up, and actually *do* something that can help you, even if it means that they end up bleeding and bruised, and you end up still standing? Because at the end of the day, that's who I am. I'm the person who will be laying on the floor bleeding, while you're in one piece. And you know what? I am alright with that.
It has cost me more friends than I can count over the years. It has cost me people I still love. It has cost me things I try very hard not to think about, and it has caused me to have self-defense mechanisms like no other. But it has also made me who I am, and made me incredibly strong.
I can hold my head up and respect myself. I can respect the decisions I made. I can look at the situations I was in and the end results and the places those people are in now, because of decisions I made, and I can smile at the lives they made because of things I did. That's enough for me. And they hate me. And that's okay.
I was informed this morning that I can be *scary*. Isn't that nice? People fear me. I've known that for a while. It isn't exactly news to me. I asked what it is about me that's so frightening.
People seem to fear me, because I won't pull a punch, and I have no compunctions about doing the difficult thing when the chips are down. If you tell me you're in the rock and hard place position and can't make the decision, I can make the hard choice. Even when it sucks. I can be the asshole. Even when it costs me a friend, if in the end, it means that someone I love or care about ends up standing on their own two feet, in one piece and happy, I can be the one who ends up alone if they end up okay.
So that makes me scary? I won't apologize for that. And I had to try to articulate that. I had to sit and try to make sense of it in a way for someone else to understand. Yes, I am domineering. Yes, I have a very weird set of personal standards.
But when it comes right down to it, who do *you* want at your back? Do you really want the friend who mouths the right words about how much they care about you? Or do you want the friend who will step up, and actually *do* something that can help you, even if it means that they end up bleeding and bruised, and you end up still standing? Because at the end of the day, that's who I am. I'm the person who will be laying on the floor bleeding, while you're in one piece. And you know what? I am alright with that.
It has cost me more friends than I can count over the years. It has cost me people I still love. It has cost me things I try very hard not to think about, and it has caused me to have self-defense mechanisms like no other. But it has also made me who I am, and made me incredibly strong.
I can hold my head up and respect myself. I can respect the decisions I made. I can look at the situations I was in and the end results and the places those people are in now, because of decisions I made, and I can smile at the lives they made because of things I did. That's enough for me. And they hate me. And that's okay.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Secret word of the week
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you this weeks new secret word of the week:
Cackwhore!
Last week's secret word of the week was "weird", which was more or less self-explanatory. I give an e-cookie to the person who can explain what a cackwhore is, though.
I'll post the explanation of cackwhore on Sunday, when I post the next secret word of the week.
Cackwhore!
Last week's secret word of the week was "weird", which was more or less self-explanatory. I give an e-cookie to the person who can explain what a cackwhore is, though.
I'll post the explanation of cackwhore on Sunday, when I post the next secret word of the week.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Concrete heart...
Is that me? Is it you? I have high walls around a heart made of concrete. I give off a very good imitation of it. Day to day to day. I felt a crack inside that heart that I haven't felt in years, and it scared me. I don't want to feel that anymore. My heart is safer that way, made of stone. It was bashed, and battered and bruised. I had a soft, loving heart once. And as time passed, that heart was damaged so badly, it turned to stone, and spikes developed, a self-protection mechanism. And I built a wall, to keep me safe.
I became over the years the ultimate loner. Always surrounded by a group and always alone. I took who I wanted, and damn the consequences. I never really intentionally hurt anyone. I didn't poach particularly. I wasn't interested in being someone's girlfriend. I had no use for romance. No use for sentimentality. Until one day, I was just rambling along, and I wasn't paying attention.
I hadn't inspected my walls in a while, and there was a hole along the base, about your size. You must've just slipped through. Inside my wall, you see, there are flowers. It can be quite lovely in here. A garden, grass. Pretty things. Pretty thoughts. There are clouds, and sunshine and laughter. Things you can't see if you're on the outside. It's rather austere and forbidding from the other side. But there you were, just wandering around on the inside.
And I was a fool, and didn't realize in time that you were on the inside. I glanced up, and there you were. Didn't look closely enough to notice that you were on the inside, with the flowers. Because I was so accustomed to seeing things by peering over the wall, I only saw what I expected to see.
By the time I realized what I saw wasn't in fact what I was expecting...it was too late. You were inside my defenses...and I was in turn defenseless...I had no choice but to trust you as I asked you to trust me. I never quite managed to push you out of my defenses. I've since decided there isn't any point. Something about you fits inside some empty part of me, and that's something I'm going to have to accept. Even if I have to let you go, that part of me is going to have to accept it.
What you decide to accept or reject, those are decisions for you to make. Those aren't mine. But I've decided to accept how I feel and where you fit. Thanks for that. And for the trust you gave me. And for breaching a wall...even if I did end up filling it back in later...
I became over the years the ultimate loner. Always surrounded by a group and always alone. I took who I wanted, and damn the consequences. I never really intentionally hurt anyone. I didn't poach particularly. I wasn't interested in being someone's girlfriend. I had no use for romance. No use for sentimentality. Until one day, I was just rambling along, and I wasn't paying attention.
I hadn't inspected my walls in a while, and there was a hole along the base, about your size. You must've just slipped through. Inside my wall, you see, there are flowers. It can be quite lovely in here. A garden, grass. Pretty things. Pretty thoughts. There are clouds, and sunshine and laughter. Things you can't see if you're on the outside. It's rather austere and forbidding from the other side. But there you were, just wandering around on the inside.
And I was a fool, and didn't realize in time that you were on the inside. I glanced up, and there you were. Didn't look closely enough to notice that you were on the inside, with the flowers. Because I was so accustomed to seeing things by peering over the wall, I only saw what I expected to see.
By the time I realized what I saw wasn't in fact what I was expecting...it was too late. You were inside my defenses...and I was in turn defenseless...I had no choice but to trust you as I asked you to trust me. I never quite managed to push you out of my defenses. I've since decided there isn't any point. Something about you fits inside some empty part of me, and that's something I'm going to have to accept. Even if I have to let you go, that part of me is going to have to accept it.
What you decide to accept or reject, those are decisions for you to make. Those aren't mine. But I've decided to accept how I feel and where you fit. Thanks for that. And for the trust you gave me. And for breaching a wall...even if I did end up filling it back in later...
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Addendum
Guess I wasn't stood up. He was just running on his own personal time clock. I keep forgetting that since I tend to be on time, other people aren't. Meh. I guess I needed today. I needed the few hour stretch for us to clear the air and talk. And we did that, and now things will be whatever they're going to be. I'm watching 'Full Metal Jacket'. It's a good movie I guess. I owe Phillip one, which I'll get him for later. He agreed to watch a film of my choice to make up for me watching FMJ. I'll pick one at a later date.
I haven't decided what to make of things. I haven't decided what I'm going to make of a lot of things right now. Might have something to do with my new meds, though. I rather like my new meds. I'm rambling.
That was my addendum.
Goodnight internets.
I haven't decided what to make of things. I haven't decided what I'm going to make of a lot of things right now. Might have something to do with my new meds, though. I rather like my new meds. I'm rambling.
That was my addendum.
Goodnight internets.
Sadness
Right now I am currently in the process of being stood up. People have wondered why it is that I have the outlook that I do on life. Well, here it is, in a nutshell. I expect the worst from people, because when I expect to be let down, at least it doesn't hurt as badly when it happens. When I'm not counting on something, there isn't the colossal blow of disappointment in the end.
I would rather just expect to have everyone completely ignore me and get screwed over and have it be a nice surprise to be wrong, than hope for the best and be disappointed. Isn't that sad?
Some people see the glass as half full. I am not the eternal optimist. That's me. Take it or leave it. I'll hold you up when you need someone to keep you going. I'll hug you when you need it. I'll keep everything together for everybody else. But I don't trust anyone else to do that for me, ever. Because no one does. Lessons learned the hard way. Never let it get that far. I can and generally am the strength everyone else takes for granted. The survivor. It's what I do. Who I am. Who people expect me to be. And I'm damned good at it.
I'll never be the girl who walks around smiling all the time. Never be the random life of the party. I won't ever be the girl next door. But I'll always be the one who can be counted on when there's no one else. And I'll always be there when you need me.
I am who and what I am.
I would rather just expect to have everyone completely ignore me and get screwed over and have it be a nice surprise to be wrong, than hope for the best and be disappointed. Isn't that sad?
Some people see the glass as half full. I am not the eternal optimist. That's me. Take it or leave it. I'll hold you up when you need someone to keep you going. I'll hug you when you need it. I'll keep everything together for everybody else. But I don't trust anyone else to do that for me, ever. Because no one does. Lessons learned the hard way. Never let it get that far. I can and generally am the strength everyone else takes for granted. The survivor. It's what I do. Who I am. Who people expect me to be. And I'm damned good at it.
I'll never be the girl who walks around smiling all the time. Never be the random life of the party. I won't ever be the girl next door. But I'll always be the one who can be counted on when there's no one else. And I'll always be there when you need me.
I am who and what I am.
Friday, September 14, 2007
Well haven't I been productive today?
Why, yes, yes I have. I woke up rather abruptly this morning, and went out and picked up spooky juice. Yay, spooky juice! Then came home, and sent Danny off to work.
So far today I have:
Cleaned the kitchen
Made italian chicken
Made bread
Picked up spooky juice
Received a FedEx delivery
Listened to a bunch of Mp3s
Blogged
Chatted on AIM
Chatted on Gtalk
Talked for like three hours on the phone to Kat
Taken a shower and shaved
Worried
For me? That's a lot. And it's not even 3:30. Sheesh.
Dunno what's up with that. So, not sure what's going on with me. And Danny found a somewhat entertaining website.It's a kind of comedic Dear John letter site.It's so funny.
No one has ever accused me of being altogether nice, and this just continues that trend. I've definitely been on a tangent this week. It's been a very strange week for me, and I need to wrap my head around it. I'm getting there. I wonder if Justin reads my blogs? I need to remember to ask him. Or if he does, he can simply tag me and volunteer that information, that will accomplish the same thing :)
I'll write more later, it smells like my bread is approaching done-ness.
Bye everybody.
So far today I have:
Cleaned the kitchen
Made italian chicken
Made bread
Picked up spooky juice
Received a FedEx delivery
Listened to a bunch of Mp3s
Blogged
Chatted on AIM
Chatted on Gtalk
Talked for like three hours on the phone to Kat
Taken a shower and shaved
Worried
For me? That's a lot. And it's not even 3:30. Sheesh.
Dunno what's up with that. So, not sure what's going on with me. And Danny found a somewhat entertaining website.It's a kind of comedic Dear John letter site.It's so funny.
No one has ever accused me of being altogether nice, and this just continues that trend. I've definitely been on a tangent this week. It's been a very strange week for me, and I need to wrap my head around it. I'm getting there. I wonder if Justin reads my blogs? I need to remember to ask him. Or if he does, he can simply tag me and volunteer that information, that will accomplish the same thing :)
I'll write more later, it smells like my bread is approaching done-ness.
Bye everybody.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Please remember....
Time...
Sometimes the time just slips away
And you're left with this today
Left with the memories
I...I'll always think of you and smile
And be happy for the time I had you with me
Though we go our separate ways
I won't forget
So don't forget
The memories we made
Please remember
Please remember
I was there for you and you were there for me
Please remember
Our time together
When time was yours and mine
And we were wild and free
Please remember
Please remember
Me...
Goodbye
There's just no sadder word to say
And it's sad to walk away
With just the memories
Losing all the minor bets
We leave behind a life and time we'll never know again
Please remember
Please remember
I was there for you and you were there for me
And remember
Please remember
Me...
Please remember
Please remember
I was there for you and you were there for me
Please remember our time together
When time was yours and mine
And we were wild and free
And remember
Please remember
Me...
And how we laughed
And we smiled
And how this world was yours and mine
And how no dream was out of reach
I stood by you
You stood by me
We took each day and made it shine
We wrote our names across the sky
We ran so fast
We ran so free
I had you and you had me...
Please remember...
---LeeAnn Rimes---
--Soundtrack from Coyote Ugly--
Sometimes the time just slips away
And you're left with this today
Left with the memories
I...I'll always think of you and smile
And be happy for the time I had you with me
Though we go our separate ways
I won't forget
So don't forget
The memories we made
Please remember
Please remember
I was there for you and you were there for me
Please remember
Our time together
When time was yours and mine
And we were wild and free
Please remember
Please remember
Me...
Goodbye
There's just no sadder word to say
And it's sad to walk away
With just the memories
Losing all the minor bets
We leave behind a life and time we'll never know again
Please remember
Please remember
I was there for you and you were there for me
And remember
Please remember
Me...
Please remember
Please remember
I was there for you and you were there for me
Please remember our time together
When time was yours and mine
And we were wild and free
And remember
Please remember
Me...
And how we laughed
And we smiled
And how this world was yours and mine
And how no dream was out of reach
I stood by you
You stood by me
We took each day and made it shine
We wrote our names across the sky
We ran so fast
We ran so free
I had you and you had me...
Please remember...
---LeeAnn Rimes---
--Soundtrack from Coyote Ugly--
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Monday, September 10, 2007
Reflections
So I was just looking at some pictures on JB's myspace page, of her sitting in some kind of fancy black formalish dress, on a swing, and she looks about 15 or 16 years old. She looks all melancholy in the picture, and it made me stop and ponder things. I looked like that at one point during that period in my life. Hell, there was even a time when I could be found in the middle of the night, swinging on a park swing, thinking what I'm sure I believed were deep, meaningful thoughts. Not so sure now that they were deep in and meaningful, but back then I probably thought they were.
But it strikes me, looking at that picture of her, that there are no such photographs of me. No such evidence of me. I was never that innocent. I might have spent time swinging on a swing, thinking deep thoughts at night, but the innocence wasn't there. And there were no friends around to catch it on film. And by the point that there might have been someone around with a camera? Chances are, by that time, there were enough drugs to float a barge, and enough alcohol to float a cruise ship.But nobody to care. Party hearty, right? Not the best of decision making on my part then. And I doubt I even cared. Nobody to answer to, and nobody to care what I did.
And that's a trait I always kept. If you don't let anyone close, there's no one to hurt you. Oh, there are always people around. Looking back, scores of people around, in fact. To the outside eye, my place seemed like a revolving door most of the time. I was the local teenage runaway halfway house. In my mind I guess I was trying to save someone, the way no one ever tried to save me? Something along those lines at any rate. At some point, you have to stop fighting to save everyone else, and save yourself, and I eventually did that. I don't have a halfway house anymore. Not for wayward teens. Not for anyone.
And it's easier to not let anyone in, not really. Some wounds don't heal. They scar over, but the cuts remain. Some things you learn, and those lessons stay with you.
Sometimes you forget. And sometimes you remember. And sometimes you need to remember, and you fight for the memories.
But it strikes me, looking at that picture of her, that there are no such photographs of me. No such evidence of me. I was never that innocent. I might have spent time swinging on a swing, thinking deep thoughts at night, but the innocence wasn't there. And there were no friends around to catch it on film. And by the point that there might have been someone around with a camera? Chances are, by that time, there were enough drugs to float a barge, and enough alcohol to float a cruise ship.But nobody to care. Party hearty, right? Not the best of decision making on my part then. And I doubt I even cared. Nobody to answer to, and nobody to care what I did.
And that's a trait I always kept. If you don't let anyone close, there's no one to hurt you. Oh, there are always people around. Looking back, scores of people around, in fact. To the outside eye, my place seemed like a revolving door most of the time. I was the local teenage runaway halfway house. In my mind I guess I was trying to save someone, the way no one ever tried to save me? Something along those lines at any rate. At some point, you have to stop fighting to save everyone else, and save yourself, and I eventually did that. I don't have a halfway house anymore. Not for wayward teens. Not for anyone.
And it's easier to not let anyone in, not really. Some wounds don't heal. They scar over, but the cuts remain. Some things you learn, and those lessons stay with you.
Sometimes you forget. And sometimes you remember. And sometimes you need to remember, and you fight for the memories.
Secret word of the day
I don't even know where to begin this evening. The current household score rests thus: Ezzie: 4 - Headphones: 0. I'd have to say Ezzie is winning. Danny's promised me a shiney new pair tomorrow, since he left the latest pair hanging from the treadmill, and the cat chewed through yet another cord. I have that stupid song "and the cat came back, the very next day, the cat came back he just couldn't stay away" in my head in reference to those headphones. At least he has good enough manners to only eat the headphone cords. Given the amount of other household cords that are within that stupid cat's reach, I should be grateful the only cords he likes are the cords to my headphones, which are the cheapie headphones I prefer. I can only imagine the pain in the ass it would be if he decided he liked the taste of, say, the Mac power supply cord, or something along *those* lines.
The wasp issue in the bathroom appears to be under control. Maintenance was in here earlier today patching over the hole in the wall, and there aren't any more wasps, as far as I know. Not entirely certain of it, because I wasn't here, but I'm told he saw none, and the problem has been taken care of. I hope so, anyhow. Bugs are bad. Yup. Bad.
I feel all scatterbrained, in a weird way (zing! word of the day!) and I'm not altogether sure why. It's as though I'm standing outside of myself, watching everything just sort of putter on around me. I'm watching everyone else doing their normal everyday routines, and I'm doing my normal routine, and everything is as it should be but something is off center. Only I can't explain what that something is. It's very peculiar. Nothing is wrong, per se. There aren't any large black looming clouds on the horizon. The world has not stopped revolving. The sun rises in the east, sets in the west. My stupid cat still jumps on my head every morning. But something is just...weird.
I have watched "Friends" many times, in reruns, over the years. It is playing as background in my apartment while I blog right now, and I can't even *hear* it, because I have in earplugs, and it has captions. And yet, even though I know what's going on, and I'm barely watching it, I still find myself sucked into this inane show. It's ridiculous. I have no idea why it's so fascinating. It's crazy. Why is this show so appealing? Thoughts? Anyone?
The wasp issue in the bathroom appears to be under control. Maintenance was in here earlier today patching over the hole in the wall, and there aren't any more wasps, as far as I know. Not entirely certain of it, because I wasn't here, but I'm told he saw none, and the problem has been taken care of. I hope so, anyhow. Bugs are bad. Yup. Bad.
I feel all scatterbrained, in a weird way (zing! word of the day!) and I'm not altogether sure why. It's as though I'm standing outside of myself, watching everything just sort of putter on around me. I'm watching everyone else doing their normal everyday routines, and I'm doing my normal routine, and everything is as it should be but something is off center. Only I can't explain what that something is. It's very peculiar. Nothing is wrong, per se. There aren't any large black looming clouds on the horizon. The world has not stopped revolving. The sun rises in the east, sets in the west. My stupid cat still jumps on my head every morning. But something is just...weird.
I have watched "Friends" many times, in reruns, over the years. It is playing as background in my apartment while I blog right now, and I can't even *hear* it, because I have in earplugs, and it has captions. And yet, even though I know what's going on, and I'm barely watching it, I still find myself sucked into this inane show. It's ridiculous. I have no idea why it's so fascinating. It's crazy. Why is this show so appealing? Thoughts? Anyone?
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Nothing else matters....
There's a damned colony of yellow jacket wasps living in the wall of my master bathroom. Wasps are bad, mmmkay? So there will be pest control guys killing them off either tonight or at the ass crack of dawn tomorrow morning. Which is good, because being scared of your bathroom is bad indeed. Not much I can do about it either way, so I'll just be waiting for the end result in the meantime.
Approaching Darkness didn't win the other night, but I'm told they made a lot of new fans, and that's a good thing. And I got out of the house, and I had an incredibly good time, so I was pleased with the overall end result. I hope that they were too.
In other news.
I hear that the so-called Southern Hottie is miserable living in her swamp, and that they trashed out their apartment here in town so badly that they may end up never being able to come back to California, whether they want to or not. Christ alive, how the fuck can *anyone* do somewhere in the neighborhood of twenty four hundred dollars in damage to an apartment, short of literally tearing the walls down? That's a phenomenal amount of damage. Especially when you consider that their apartment was kind of boring and plain to begin with, so there weren't any high-end fancy things to destroy to start off.
Now, I'm not a big fan of Fresno. The weather blows. The town's too small to suit me, personally. I'd kind of like a different kind of climate. There are just things about it I'd like different, and I'd rather live somewhere else. But I absolutely *detest* Florida. By comparison to Florida, Fresno is a freaking paradise. In Florida, there are hurricanes. It's humid. Remember a few days ago, that random freaky thunderstorm? (Apologies to those of you who aren't local reading this and have no clue what I'm talking about.) That truly rotten sticky humidity that came with the random thunderstorm? *MILD* compared to Florida weather. And that humidity is Florida weather from, oh, May until Octoberish. It might've gotten to be longer than that, I haven't actually suffered living in Florida in a very long time.
Where was I? Oh, yes. Southern Hottie in her swamp. So yeah. I never got around to updating the soap opera dramafest that I'd been blogging about a few months ago, about how royally screwed about money I got by an old friend of mine who I'd tried to help out. Well, I did indeed get screwed over on the money aspect of that situation. And you know what? As it turns out, I think I might be ok with that. I lost probably fifteen hundred dollars. She gained a bunch of weight. Lost a bunch of friends. Lost her mind. Lost her self-respect. Lost her home. She lost and gained a husband. She lives in a swamp, in a town the size of a pea pod, because she snuck out of town trying to avoid having to pay me back the money she owed me. The completely amusing part of the entire fucking thing? I never once intended to file that civil suit against her. I was just fucking with her. I knew for two full weeks that they were packing up, selling off the stuff I'd paid for, and heading out for Florida. She was so hyper paranoid that she dug herself into a complete shithole and ran across the country to live in the absolute pit of hell to escape me...and it was a freaking joke. Instead of being an adult and facing up to, well...life. She chose instead to leave behind myriad bills with companies like PG&E which will hunt your ass down indefinitely, get an eviction on her record which will sit there for the next *decade*, thus guaranteeing that she can't rent an apartment or qualify for a mortgage loan on a house for minimum a decade in any state in this country. Instead of simply dealing with me and being a grown-up, she snuck away and hid, and now has trapped herself in a place she hates with no way out. Way to go!
So yeah. In the end? I didn't even have to do anything. I made the online snarky equivalent of "BOO!" and jumping out from behind a fence, and she wrecked her entire life.
So for anyone I'd inadvertently left hanging on the drama-update scenario, there you go. She got screwed, I still have a reasonably nice life, that was the end of that.
Approaching Darkness didn't win the other night, but I'm told they made a lot of new fans, and that's a good thing. And I got out of the house, and I had an incredibly good time, so I was pleased with the overall end result. I hope that they were too.
In other news.
I hear that the so-called Southern Hottie is miserable living in her swamp, and that they trashed out their apartment here in town so badly that they may end up never being able to come back to California, whether they want to or not. Christ alive, how the fuck can *anyone* do somewhere in the neighborhood of twenty four hundred dollars in damage to an apartment, short of literally tearing the walls down? That's a phenomenal amount of damage. Especially when you consider that their apartment was kind of boring and plain to begin with, so there weren't any high-end fancy things to destroy to start off.
Now, I'm not a big fan of Fresno. The weather blows. The town's too small to suit me, personally. I'd kind of like a different kind of climate. There are just things about it I'd like different, and I'd rather live somewhere else. But I absolutely *detest* Florida. By comparison to Florida, Fresno is a freaking paradise. In Florida, there are hurricanes. It's humid. Remember a few days ago, that random freaky thunderstorm? (Apologies to those of you who aren't local reading this and have no clue what I'm talking about.) That truly rotten sticky humidity that came with the random thunderstorm? *MILD* compared to Florida weather. And that humidity is Florida weather from, oh, May until Octoberish. It might've gotten to be longer than that, I haven't actually suffered living in Florida in a very long time.
Where was I? Oh, yes. Southern Hottie in her swamp. So yeah. I never got around to updating the soap opera dramafest that I'd been blogging about a few months ago, about how royally screwed about money I got by an old friend of mine who I'd tried to help out. Well, I did indeed get screwed over on the money aspect of that situation. And you know what? As it turns out, I think I might be ok with that. I lost probably fifteen hundred dollars. She gained a bunch of weight. Lost a bunch of friends. Lost her mind. Lost her self-respect. Lost her home. She lost and gained a husband. She lives in a swamp, in a town the size of a pea pod, because she snuck out of town trying to avoid having to pay me back the money she owed me. The completely amusing part of the entire fucking thing? I never once intended to file that civil suit against her. I was just fucking with her. I knew for two full weeks that they were packing up, selling off the stuff I'd paid for, and heading out for Florida. She was so hyper paranoid that she dug herself into a complete shithole and ran across the country to live in the absolute pit of hell to escape me...and it was a freaking joke. Instead of being an adult and facing up to, well...life. She chose instead to leave behind myriad bills with companies like PG&E which will hunt your ass down indefinitely, get an eviction on her record which will sit there for the next *decade*, thus guaranteeing that she can't rent an apartment or qualify for a mortgage loan on a house for minimum a decade in any state in this country. Instead of simply dealing with me and being a grown-up, she snuck away and hid, and now has trapped herself in a place she hates with no way out. Way to go!
So yeah. In the end? I didn't even have to do anything. I made the online snarky equivalent of "BOO!" and jumping out from behind a fence, and she wrecked her entire life.
So for anyone I'd inadvertently left hanging on the drama-update scenario, there you go. She got screwed, I still have a reasonably nice life, that was the end of that.
Monday, September 3, 2007
Approaching Darkness
Holy shit, the sky must be falling, I actually left the house and went out to a freaking rock show!
My friend Nathan's band, Approaching Darkness, played a show last night in Hanford at the Bastille, in a battle of the bands. They were absolutely awesome. I don't generally listen to the kind of music that they play, and in spite of myself, I was still impressed. I'll go out and listen to them again, albeit in a venue a little closer to home next time. It was worth it though.
But I still don't know *WHO WON* damnit!
In other news, Nathan's wife rocks. She's a kick, and entertaining as all hell. Being that I'm a hermit by nature, it's unusual for me to be out and about anywhere for more than a couple of hours, and I managed to pass a very enjoyable six plus hours in Sam's company without realizing that much time had gone by. My hidden tech soul has been appeased, and I think I might have finally found another female friend who dislikes women as much as I do. Egads.
I'll have other stuff to post later, that has nothing to do with Approaching Darkness or rock shows or rock stars' wives, but for right now, this is all I have to offer :)
My friend Nathan's band, Approaching Darkness, played a show last night in Hanford at the Bastille, in a battle of the bands. They were absolutely awesome. I don't generally listen to the kind of music that they play, and in spite of myself, I was still impressed. I'll go out and listen to them again, albeit in a venue a little closer to home next time. It was worth it though.
But I still don't know *WHO WON* damnit!
In other news, Nathan's wife rocks. She's a kick, and entertaining as all hell. Being that I'm a hermit by nature, it's unusual for me to be out and about anywhere for more than a couple of hours, and I managed to pass a very enjoyable six plus hours in Sam's company without realizing that much time had gone by. My hidden tech soul has been appeased, and I think I might have finally found another female friend who dislikes women as much as I do. Egads.
I'll have other stuff to post later, that has nothing to do with Approaching Darkness or rock shows or rock stars' wives, but for right now, this is all I have to offer :)
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