Friday, July 4, 2008

Happy Fourth of July

To everybody, Happy Fourth of July. It's Independence Day.

I paid my rent. I paid my bills. I'm living in my apartment, and I'm finally self-sufficient. And I'm alone. And it's alright.

And while I've been stressed out enough to have brought on a lupus flare, and things are not as smooth as I might like? I'm going to be okay. I've refused to accept a lot of things anymore, from anyone. I'm not going to be putting up with things anymore that I've tolerated for so long. I don't need to anymore. I have no *reason* to allow myself to be walked on, to accommodate other people anymore.

I tried being accommodating. I tried to help, and be nice, and be friendly. And it got me screwed over, and hurt, and so filled up with anger that it made me sick. Physically sick, not just emotionally twisted up.

I'm through with it. Some things I'm still trying to salvage. Some things I've just let go. A lot of things have changed.

So, happy fourth of July, and I hope everybody has a good one. Me? I'll be working, because it's a weekend, and that's when there's the most work for me.

Monday and Tuesday, I have stuff I'm doing off and on all day as well. I *might* have a little bit of spare time on Wednesday. Thursday I'm pretty sure I might actually be free, and Friday starts another weekend, which kicks off work again.

Amazing.

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