Some days I really just want to scream.

This? This is one of those days. Rant forthcoming.

So I packed up all of Phil's shit, to be returned to him via Danny, because now that I'm in possession of the stuff of mine that he had, it seemed like the thing to do. Except, now I'm angry. Like, really, really angry. I hadn't realized until I was finished putting it into the box and bag just how truly furious I really am.

I guess Danny asked how he was doing, and he told him that he's doing well, and he's happy. And that just makes me furious. Because honestly? He shouldn't get to be happy. He fucking lied, to everyone under the sun, about absolutely everything. He didn't tell a single fucking person anything at all that was true. He told half-truths and bold faced lies, and it makes me furious that he's now happy as a lark, and that just isn't fair in the slightest.

You shouldn't get to end up happy after you've lied your ass off, cheated on everyone, and fucked everybody over. That just isn't how it should work.

"Well, I had sex with her that one time, and then we messed around all month." And she believed him, because she wanted to. Well, yes, we had sex once, sure we did. And mess around? We certainly did a shitload of that. We had sex at least once a day, every day that month, pretty much. Along with quite a lot of other things. In pretty much every way you can imagine. So I suppose that falls under the heading of half-truth. And when I asked her if she wanted to know the actual truth? She didn't want to know, because she knew damned well if she knew the *actual* truth, she'd have to face the fact that he was willing to lie bold-faced to her, and then she'd have to take a good, hard look at who and what he is. And while cutting me out of his life might solve part of the problem, it wasn't going to solve all of it. Because there was a much bigger problem involved. He voluntarily ignored her phone calls. He set his fucking ringtone to "I've got ho's in different area codes" when she called, and laughed about it. It amused him. He was so confident in our pregnancy, that he was just waiting for confirmation, so he could dump her. And when the results didn't confirm it, then he didn't know what to do, and so he stayed for another couple of weeks, continuing to have sex with me, KNOWING that I was on no form of birth control at all. Turns out I was actually pregnant, even though the results never matched, isn't that a shame too. Too bad, that. But that's neither here, nor there. He kept sleeping with me, as thought to insure that I'd be pregnant. That's some serious issues that she just didn't want to know about. Because if she had faced up to any of that, she couldn't have decided to "make a go of it", and make their long distance relationship work. What a farce.

You don't electively put on blinders to make something work knowing that he's lying. That's ridiculous, and you especially don't do it from that kind of distance. Maybe, MAYBE, if you're local enough to keep tabs on him? But not from a distance.

And sure, I'm gone now. But all he did is trade out me for somebody else. Because he's certainly not sitting home alone, with nobody to talk to, and only his hand for company. That's not his style. He might claim to be being a good little boy, but he claimed that before, and lied without breaking a sweat. Until one of my friends outed him, he had no qualms at all about never saying a word, and sweeping everything under the table.

Face it, he went to Las Vegas, and did his little party, without ever saying "by the way, I had sex with her four days ago, and have been sleeping with her for the entire time before now. I'll be breaking it off now that we're together, but I've been with her this entire time.". And I flat out asked him to tell her. He refused, and that was why I kicked him out. I couldn't hack it, that he'd lie without any qualms. I just couldn't deal.

And now? He's fucking happy, and I just don't see how it is that he gets to be happy, when he could lie, and manipulate and fuck everyone over. And it wasn't just me who got screwed. He cheated on her, without any trouble, for a month straight. Literally. And everybody seems just fine with it. As though it was a one-time oops, and that should be forgiven? But it wasn't just a one-time deal. Not like it was a one-night stand. It was a one MONTH thing. More like a six-month deal, in fact, but still. You don't cheat on your girlfriend, who you had barely been with for two weeks, before you fell into bed with someone else, cheat for an entire MONTH, and get forgiven, and move on, being thrilled, happy, everybody goes home with a smile. It doesn't work that way.

And what woman in her right MIND trusts a man like that afterwards? Who forgives that shit? He cheated on her with me in December, and he dumped her then to choose to be with me. "Sorry, I need to talk to you, I decided to try and make it work with her." In fact, he fell into bed with me, I wouldn't let him have his way until he broke it off, and he spent the next 12 hours trying to track her down so he could break up with her. Really nice, but I wasn't having any part of cheating that time. So he broke it off. And she came flying out here, literally, to hop into bed with him, so she could have him back. Well, to be fair, she didn't actually do the deed, although she did do the sleeping in the bed with him. While insisting she just couldn't handle seeing me, and making damned sure that it would break us up. And it did. I suppose that was fair, since she'd been dumped first.

But why in the hell is it that she wants him, if he can't keep his pants on? He cheated on her, he cheated on me with her. He cheated on her with me? WHY does she think he's not going to keep doing the same thing over again, whether it's with me or not?

My apologies to my normal readers, but if I don't write it down, I seriously am going to just start screaming, and I'm tired of screaming.

If any of you have any suggestions for what I'm missing here, I'm all freaking ears.