visitors

Ariel was in town today, and she came by to see me, which was cool. I never get to see her, and we were such good friends once that it's depressing that she lives in Sac and I see her so rarely. But she was here, and it was a good visit. And I managed to hit my quota for the day too, after she left, which was good. Yay for the perverts being text fiends.

I'll log in and deal with the smut more later too, but the queue emptied out, so I'm here, updating. Ez is asleep on my bed, and we're both chilling out. Whatever it was that made me so sick as passed as well, so I'm feeling a bit better. The mystery might-be-knocked-up illness is still looming, but the stomach flu or whatever is gone.

I've had an ongoing headache all week, more or less, which is bugging me, but I'm actually feeling moderately good other than that. I'm wondering if the headache might be from stress at whether or not I can successfully pull of being able to do this job. It's been a long time since I had to depend on myself instead of knowing Danny would take care of me.

I think I'm doing okay. I know when I hit the pro-rated quota by the 20th that it will all be okay, and then I can start churning out what I need to know that I'll be able to pull down a decent paycheck, and make the bills myself without Trinette here when she moves out with Steven. It's just scary, and I'm not used to being this scared.

It's just hard, and that's difficult for me to admit to myself. It isn't that I can't take care of the basic day-to-day stuff, it's that I was very used to "me and Danny", and now I know that in a very few short months, it will be just me. I'm finally settling into that. It feels kind of good, actually. Being just me.

Not wondering what I need to do to adapt to having someone else I need to work around. I kind of like being just me. But it's also strange. And the bills is still a pain in the ass. Dealing with social security also sucks. I suspect that one might always suck, no matter what.

But for right now, each day? I'm managing. Sometimes I feel like I could use a little more space, and sometimes a little less, but for the most part, I'm doing alright.