are finally in. I had...have? It's called blighted ovum, and I guess I still have it. My body still is pregnant, which is why my hormones are still so screwballed. I will be, until I get some pills from my doctor to cause me to have a cycle to abort the fetus. The baby started, but couldn't continue, something was either wrong with it, or some variation on that. And so it died...but my body didn't naturally abort it. Which is why I'm so screwed up right now. I'll be okay. It's just as well, because being tied to Phillip wouldn't have been good, not right now. Not with all the drama with him, and Colleen and all the bullshit. He walked out, without even caring what was going on.
From the measurements, the baby died at right about the same time he left anyhow. I guess it was never meant to be. My little gestational sac was six weeks along. And it never kept going. I guess I'm not capable of carrying Phillip's baby. Maybe nobody is. I'll probably never know anyhow.
It doesn't matter now anyhow, I have bigger problems. The tech obviously found other things on the ultrasound she was doing, and I'll be meeting with my doctor in another couple of weeks to find out exactly what those are. She took more than 100 ultrasound pictures, of my ovaries, kidneys, heart, liver, gallbladder. I don't know why, since a lot of those weren't even ordered to have been taken. She obviously found something, and followed up on whatever it was. And I don't know anymore than that, and will simply have to wait and see. I have my own theories, but will wait to find out.
I'm relieved that I'm not pregnant, and can simply move forward now, without needing to worry any further on that front.
I'll go back on my regular medications, and will be calling to reschedule my MRI, because I had postponed it since they don't do MRI's on pregnant women. It was a just-in-case kind of thing.
In other news, Trinette is moving out sometime this weekend, and so I'll be working more than I had originally intended, because I'll be needing to be able to float the apartment alone a lot sooner than planned. All my plans have moved up by six months. Everybody wish me luck, I'm probably going to need it. I think I'll be okay, but still, wish me luck. I'm still not altogether sure how I'm going to make the rent for July. Nowhere in my original plans was needing to be able to carry everything alone quite this soon, so I'm sort of freaking out quietly here in my corner of the world.
Other than that, I'm just getting by.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment