pregnant vs crazy

Yeah, that's right. Pregnant versus crazy. And honestly? I've come the conclusion that I hate doctors. I went in for an ultrasound today. And it was obviously very conclusive, as they told me to please be coming back in four weeks, so they can run another one. And to please come in tomorrow morning, at eight o'clock, after fasting all night tonight, to do a full panel blood workup. But they refuse to tell me exactly why I should do either of those things. Oh, and while I'm at it, I should probably stay off of my medications. Just in case.

I *hate* doctors. They won't tell me exactly what's going on, because that would leave them open for perjury if they're wrong. But they tell me what not to do. And I hate that.

I'm not pregnant, exactly. But I'm also not *not* pregnant. They just aren't certain. Which means they saw...something. Just enough of a "something" to have me come back in a few more weeks, when it'll be a little easier to identify. Fuckers.

I have tons of symptoms. I'm miserable. But because of my weight, it's awfully hard to get a clear reading. That, and the tech wasn't really trying to get a clear reading, because obviously I can't *really* be pregnant, because their never-wrong tests have already deemed me *NOT* pregnant! So why bother actually doing a good thorough job? Easier to just wait another month, when it'll be much easier to see, and have me come back.

I hate life right now.

My solution? Just keep going the way I'm going, and focus on my job instead. I want to see if I can pump out (get it? pump? hahaha. inside joke. sorry.) 14,000 messages in 10 days, to see if it's possible. I'm kind of excited about the live training on Thursday. Eager to get started. Eager to simply begin, so that I have something to focus on. Focus is good.