Hmmm

Just random blogging tonight, from me. I just watched a movie that I rather enjoyed, called "In The Land Of Women". It came out in 2006, although I don't remember hearing anything about it in theaters during that year, so chances are it wasn't very big, or it was independent, so it didn't make much noise. But I enjoyed it. You can check out the synopsis on IMDB if you're interested in seeing what it's all aboot and whatnot.

I love my Netflix account, because it enables me to watch stuff like that, without having to be buying films left and right and blowing a lot of cash I don't have.

I'm rather happy right now. I enjoyed my day today. I cleaned my room, and reorganized a bookcase, to make some space for candles, and to fit some other things on those shelves. I've done some laundry. Ate some Chinese food. Watched the movie. Just basically had a calm day. I'm listening to MP3's right now, through headphones. I have my cat curled up right here next to me, and we're just chilling out. It's very peaceful.

My dad is home from his back surgery. It went very well, and that makes me happy. I was worried, because I know he had problems coming out of the last surgery. I don't like hospitals, and I like them even less when they tell me they're keeping my dad. So I'm glad he's home and safe. Christmas is coming up, and I wanted him home and safe. I feel better now that I know he's home.

I'm torn, right now. I'm somewhere in between restless and content. I'm restless because I want to be with my Monkey for Christmas, and I know I'm not going to, because it's too far for me to make the haul over the mountain passes, and it's too expensive to make the trek, and with a slight headcold I know better, because it turns into pneumonia *every single time*. But I still am restless because it's the holidays and I want my baby. But I'm content, because I know that I'll be with someone I love for Christmas too. It's just kind of conflicting for me. It's very hard, to have to try and make peace with it. Next year will be easier, because I will be nearby, and when I want to watch her open presents, I will be right there. I will like that. I don't like being so far away. It's strange, the idea of wanting to be near my family, because I've not felt a pull to be close to family before. It's a strange feeling for me.

I was talking to my Mom about this, the other day. I can still remember vividly the shocking feeling of asking someone how to get home when I was lost when they first moved to where they live now. And having this complete stranger look at me and say "Oh, you're Jack's daughter. Hi there." And then point me toward home. Because being his daughter is a good thing. And the feeling of being accepted immediately because he is so very well loved there, and that just peaceful feeling of belonging to him...god that felt good. "My Daddy loves me". Because I always knew that. And my Dad loves me just as much. And I know that, unquestioningly. Just like I always knew Daddy loved me. But going to a place where somebody looked at me, and said "Oh, you're his daughter". Because I never had that. Not ever. And I want to go and live somewhere like that. And have him close by, where I can drop by and see him, whenever I want. I do want that.

And I'm babbling. So I'll shut up now. Stupid holidays. This is lame. Sentiment looks all sappy and weird on me. Blarg. I'm going to go find ice cream now, and watch the most horrible movie or television show I can think of, that has absolutely no sentiment involved in it. Because this is lame. Damn the holidays!

G'nite internets.