It's a song title, actually. I downloaded it today. It's one of the very few Christmas songs that I really really like. And I had the lyrics running through my head today, and so I wanted to listen to the song. It's playing right now, in the background while I write this blog. The song is by John Lennon, for those of you who are unfamiliar with it.
This year has been chaotic for me. I have felt as though nothing would ever be alright again. I don't even know which end is up half the time anymore. Every time I turned around, I was crying, or screaming, or just spinning around like a top.
I changed my entire life around, because I was unhappy. I needed to change things. And change is frightening. And I'm still terrified. I have hurt people I love. I have wounded people. I have angered people. I have made bad decisions. I have made mistakes and I'll probably still make mistakes.
I can't help any of those things. I'm human. But in the end, I did the right thing, for the right reasons.
I woke up this morning, and I was happy. I am happy. I will do everything in my power to not screw this up this time. I want this more than anything. I don't want to run away, and I don't want to hide.
All I want is to love you. I want to feel loved and safe and happy. I meant what I said. Second to Dana, you're the most important thing in the world to me. And I'm happy.
Happy Holidays, internets.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment