Air is not for me, it's not mine. I have almost no affinity for the common themes of Air when associated with my path, with the things I choose to follow. New beginnings, childhood and fresh starts. Brightness, light. The things that surround and lift, and represent through air, those things aren't me. It's actually fairly apt that it's not my sign, or the symbol to fit me. There are two, both water and fire are mine. Water, as my Zodiac Cancer, and Fire for my Chinese Snake, both are mine. Peculiar, as I once would have thought they might have canceled each other out, but they don't.
They balance me, now. I love the rain. I love the sound of it, the smell of it, and as I've written before, the first good storm of a season soothes me in a way nothing else can. The ocean has the same effect, and I'll most likely head for it soon, to escape all the turmoil that's been going on here for the last few weeks if I can manage it. I might not be able to, and if I can't, I'll head for the nearest large body of water, because it calms me down.
And Fire. Fire still seems apt to fit me, even now. I'm more calm than I used to be. But under the calm exterior I've learned to present, if someone managed to take a reading showing what went on under that surface, it would flame bright and high, and clean. And it would most likely be vicious, and of the third-degree variety. And yet, I can sit cold as ice, under most circumstances now.
More so, over the last couple of months. I've been refining, and meditating, and it's becoming more evident in my control. And I've had fairly good control, and it's better now. I've been practicing more than I have in years, now that I'm in school, I've simply chosen to increase my practice of Wicca as well. And I'm glad that I did.
And then there's earth. I choose to embrace that, as it interests me, more than because it chooses me. Nature interests me. Not in the "oh, let's go camping" kind of interest, but in the aspect that I can feel the things around me, and that makes me feel complete. And I enjoy that, and I see no reason to not embrace that.
And last, but not least, I'll throw out there for good measure, to anyone who is interested, spirit. The last element, as it were. Because there are five, total, that make up who and what I am, and what makes me, me. And makes me whole.
Some of them are broken right now, and I'm working on repairing that. It's been a long month, and I'm filled with nothing but gratitude that I have the next little while that I can focus solely on pulling myself out of the slump, and that Samhain approaches quickly now, and as such, can pass on by, and be done with it. It's time now, to move on, and to let the veil stop being quite so thin.
I'm going to need to re-read this tomorrow, as it's very late, and I'm not certain of the coherency of this post. I'm exhausted, again. Brody, if it doesn't make sense, tell me tomorrow.
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