I don't like you

And I don't like it that you read my blog. And I like it even less that I now have to give thought to editing what I do or don't post here, because out of deference to my respect for someone, I need to edit my blogging. That irritates the shit out of me.

Personally? I don't believe a fucking word that comes out of your mouth to him about anything. I never have, and I'm never going to. Too much of what you've told him, tell him, and are going to tell him continuously doesn't add up, has never added up, and will most likely will continue to not make any sense at all.

But precious you, and him and his blinders want to believe all the bullshit you feed him so badly that he'll swallow any amount of shit if it means that you can remain up there on that pedestal. Hey, fine, whatever. I'm not altogether fond of sitting in the clouds, myself. Air's a little too rarified for my taste. I prefer the real world down here, complete with good, honest life, love, sickness and health and all the stuff that goes with it. But that's just one of *my* personal little quirks.

The simple fact is that I've never seen so many people tell so many other people so much bullshit in my life. Everybody loves everyone. Nobody talks to anyone. And me? I'm just a bystander over here in my corner of the world. I know when he does or doesn't talk to you. How could I not? I'm *here*. You're not. And yes, you'll get awfully snotty now, and yell at him, because you read this, and it'll give you nice grounds to scream at him, and tell him how horrible he is for, well, whatever reason you choose to use this week.

And you're so *good* at it. Fucking with his head. I was completely fucking flabbergasted at how badly his head was twisted around again, when I talked to him, after having not talked to him for a couple of weeks. At all the psychological twisting that had been done in such a short period of time. It's what I hate most about you. It always seems like such a shitty thing. Every time that he gets done talking to you, I spend the next little while undoing things. Reaffirming things, and putting back his self-esteem and self-confidence. The ones you somehow remove. Can't stand himself. Can't want to spend time with himself. Isn't worth anything.

Gods, how I hate what it is that you do to him. And how I hate the ease with which you can manipulate him. I hate everything women like you represent. Because there are so damned many of you. And so few women like me.

I honestly don't have any need to catch a man. To trap a man. To keep a man. I don't have a burning desire to play games with them, to fuck with their heads or to manipulate them. And so fucking many women like you do. It's a great game to you.

And once you have what you want...and to be perfectly honest, I'm still puzzling over what the fuck that is, exactly. Been trying to figure that out for freaking *years*, but once you have what you want, you pretty much laugh on your way out the door, as you move on to your next conquest, to find another man to play the game with. And the one you've just broken into pieces is completely shattered.

I know why men think most women are complete cunts, to be fucked and treated like shit. Because there are so many women who fall into the 'head games' category, that for the most part, why the fuck does anybody even bother?

Which leaves women like me, the ones who are just wandering around doing our thing getting royally screwed over. We get cheated on, we get used, and dropped and left, for women like you. Head cases, manipulators, liars. You say all the right words. You're "vulnerable". You need them. You need to be taken care of. You know all the right things to make a man feel on top of the world, like he's the most important thing ever...right up until you pull the wool off his eyes, and the rug out from under his feet...and flaunt his replacement in front of him.

Me? I have no idea what the "right" thing to say is. Because all I ever say is the truth. And the truth tends to hurt. I'm blunt to the point of it being painful, because I don't know any other way to be. I don't mean to hurt someone's feelings. I just don't quite know how to sugarcoat things. I have no qualms about telling a man the truth. I have no need to lie. If I want you, I say that. If I want to play, I say it. If I want to stop, I say it. When you've hurt me, I say that. I'm very simple to deal with that way. And I don't like turning on tears to get my way. That's my biggest failing. I'd rather send you away than try to use tears to manipulate you. I don't *want* to manipulate a man to get my way.

Oh well.

So yes, I don't like you. I think you're a horrible excuse for a sack of flesh, and a manipulating bitch. I know too much, and I am not as gullible and easily manipulated and blinded by emotional attachment. I know it's bullshit.

But I also know all of the truth. What was that flair pin? "The truth shall set you free. But first it will piss you off." How's that for accuracy.