choices

So I guess that it always comes down to something. Everyone has to make their own choices about things. I read that somewhere today. You can choose to be happy or unhappy about things. You can choose to respond to how things happen in your life. Sometimes it's harder to make a certain choice about how you feel, and I suppose that actually *is* true.

Right now, I feel rotten. And I'm probably going to feel that way for a little while, and then I'll set it aside, and push past it, because I don't want to feel that way anymore.

I'm tired of people breaking promises to me. I know that they're going to. I even expected to have those promises broken. Was braced for it, in fact. And still it hurt, to realize that in spite of all those protestations, in the end, the words were lies. I had told him to his face that he was lying to both me and himself. And he still tried to convince me that it wasn't so.

Prove me wrong. I know you won't. But you're welcome to try.

And to you, you stalking idiot: Ultimatums? What was the point? He'll always come back to me. You get him. You have him. And in the end, he always comes back to me, and ends up in my bed, in my arms, and being held by me. It's a sick, twisted pattern. But it *is* a pattern. If he was going to be faithful, he wouldn't have ended up naked with you in January. He wouldn't have ended up in my bed within weeks of making a "commitment" with you. It doesn't make him a bad person, it simply makes him not a great boyfriend. As soon as he has a tie to someone, he immediately balks and wants to be free. And needs to not have a leash around him. Even if he loves you, he'll end up in my bed. Not intentionally, and it might take a while. Hell, it might not even be *my* bed. But it will be someone's, unless he does nothing but sit alone in his room, and see no one. Because he likes to look, he likes to touch, and he likes to be free.

And everyone makes choices, unconsciously or not. Me? I don't mind playing around. I don't cheat. I don't play around if I'm with someone. But what other people do? I don't judge them for. I don't care if he has a girlfriend. Never have, never will. Didn't care about some of the other men I was involved with either. As long as *I* am single, it makes no difference to me. Their conscience, not mine.

Meh, whatever. I'm bored posting now.

I'm going to go make dinner.