Caught in an endless dream -- fearing to awaken

Poised on the brink, trembling. It could be such a fast, easy leap, right? Only I'm just not one to take those leaps.

We were just studying in one of my classes recently about left and right brain hemispheric dominance learning. I'm left-brain dominant. I tend to not look before I leap. I am solidly centered in reality, and have a plan, and follow the rules. Hell, if there aren't a prescribed set of rules, I'll even make out a set, so I have something to follow. There was a time, a long time ago, when I could go and did run amok, living a completely unstructured life. I was wild and free, and went anywhere I wanted without any thought for rules or restrictions or limitations. Packed my life into a bag, and ran free.

I'm not that person anymore, and I just can't do that now. I'm more of a creature of habit and planning, and a need for routine to feel secure. While I'll still take a spur-of-the-moment trip, I still need to do a little groundwork to make sure everything goes smoothly in my absence, and that I will have everything I need, both for my peace of mind, and for my health, in order to make sure I don't do something stupid like die while I'm having fun.

But things have been going very well recently, and I've been happy. So much so, that I almost fear to wake on some days, afraid that if I move too suddenly, it will all vanish as though it's a dream. Not to give the impression that my nightmares have suddenly stopped, or that everything is suddenly magically flawless, because it isn't. But things have been well, and I'm happy, and enjoying it.

Oh, yeah, and school's good.
Ok, end of post.