I was reading something today, and it caused me to stop and contemplate narcissism, as it relates to narcissistic personality disorders and whether or not some people truly think that the world revolves around them, and their presence.
It sort of made me sad, in a way. I *know* that a few people would genuinely notice if I did or didn't show up at a function, and I know that my friends cheer when I walk into a room, but it's in a good-natured joking sort of way, not in a "wow, the world would be a sadder, lonely sort of place if you weren't here tonight" kind of way. And there are some people who truly seem to think that an event is made or broken by their mere presence. I cannot fathom that.
I have a good healthy self-esteem these days. I'm pretty grounded in the fact that people care about me, and that I'm well-liked. I'm confident and self-assured most of the time. But the idea that I'm the center of everything? Just baffles me. I'm not particularly jealous of anybody, and if other people are envious of what I have or who I am? Well, um, they're kind of nuts. And I mean that in the kindest possible way. Trust me, you don't want to live my life.
As for being "special"...certainly, I'm "special". I'm the kind of special that comes from having had a terminal disease. Did I mention that under "you don't want to live my life"? Cause you don't. I don't want to be special. Don't want to play with special people. I don't *mind* special people, but I don't exactly go out of my way to search out elitists, because I just don't give a damn. I like most people, who are nice to me, until they give me a reason to not like them.
I don't want to be admired, I don't want to be fawned over, I don't particularly want anything out of the ordinary. Now that I think about it, I'm awfully boring. I suppose I like intelligent people, interesting people. But I don't "require" genuises or anything. Just...people being people.
Where was I? Oh, right. The idea of someone thinking that if they didn't show up somewhere, that that gathering would just not be worth actually being held, because they weren't there. *insert eyeroll here*
Obviously, I'd make a very bad narcissist. I'd rather expect that nobody would really note my absence beyond a passing "Hmm, Controversy didn't make it", and everyone would move on, if that. Even if they were my friends, because I don't expect any one person should matter that much, unless it's just a two or three person event. At which point, that's not a gathering/event, that's 'getting together for >x<' and that's a different thing, and, okay, I have something else to be doing here in a few minutes, so I'm going to post on that as a different topic later.
So I'll leave you all contemplating whether or not any of you are narcissistic personality disorders, and hope that you're not, and if you are, perhaps you should work on that, and be more personable people, because who wants to hog spotlights and be self-centered? It's very unpleasant!
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2 comments:
And time consuming...if nothing truly begins until you get there, then you'd just be running from event to event your entire life, right? Because how could anything be worth doing, anything be worth seeing, if you're not there to shine your sparkling light on the event.
Narcissist are fun to play with though. Just tell them their collar is crooked, or they have a few hairs out of place. Or better yet, yawn when they're rambling on and on about how wonderful they are, or walk away in the middle of their sentence.
They're just so pretty when their faces are painted with consternation and disbelief.
It's sad that people still seek validation through the eyes of others. Your garden variety "narcissists" aren't really suffering from narcissism at all. They suffer from a major lack of self-worth or value. The over-compensation that follows is often very symptomatic of narcissism. The glaring difference is that you know, and I know, that their insecurity prevents them from really loving themselves. You'll find these people are rarely alone, and consistently go through "BFF drama" and have a tendency to engage in and remain in relationships that are unhealthy for themselves. They are pretty easy to pick out of a crowd, if you are prone to people watching. I tend to pick them out first as they are relatively harmless and tend to act as beacons for other archetypes.
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