Things to be thankful for

I don't generally bother with this, because the Thanksgiving holiday is not my favorite of holidays. Well, to be fair, I don't much like holidays to begin with. But I'm making an exception this year, because I actually have things to be thankful for this year.

And for that reason, here's my Thanksgiving blog.

This has been a long year for me, with several ups and downs. Danny and I have split up, and it's a permanent split, though we're remaining friends in the end. Seven years is a long time for us to have been together, and ending things is harder than I thought it would be. It's for the best, and I'm glad that we'll still be friends. I love him, but it was the right decision for both of us.

I lost several friends this year, and it hurt me, badly, the loss of them. Losing people I care about hurts me, even if it isn't visible to others. I tend to not let anyone see that pain, because I don't like anyone to see weakness in me.

I am extremely grateful that I have my daughter back and close enough to see as often as I wish, and that she and I are as close as we are. She is the sunshine and light and laughter for me, and I love her. She is the best thing that ever happened to me and for me.

I'm grateful and thankful for my Dad, who I have, finally. My mom finally did it right, and married him. Yay, Mom! All jokes aside, it made me happy, having two parents finally under one roof, and knowing that there's a home somewhere I can go if I need to, no matter what. And he tells me that, all the time. My Dad is the awesome. I love you Dad.

My life probably seems like it's a mass of chaos to the outside observer, and sometimes it really can be, but for the most part, I like my life.

I have some people back in my life right now who I have missed for a very long time, and who have made me happy, and I am content. I am loved, I love, and things are peaceful for me. I have waited a long time for this, to be complete.

And this peace isn't brought by someone else, it starts and finishes with me. The other people in my life add to it, but at the base, it begins and ends with me. I talked to someone about that recently, the fact that my happiness can't be based on someone else, it has to begin with me. I can't base happiness on an external source, it has to begin with being happy with myself first, and I finally am beginning to grasp that concept.

So I'm thankful this year, for what I've learned, and for finally being able to be happy. For being myself. For the people who love me, and for the people I love. I'm grateful for my life, and the people who helped me get here.

Happy Thanksgiving.