When everything sucks and I cry and I like the neat feeling of being high

How's that for a title for tonight? And truth be told, I kind of do like this interesting light-headed buzzed feeling that's going on in my head lately. If this is what 'high' feels like, I sort of understand now why people pursue that. My old anti-depressant never did this, and so this is rather an interesting feeling, and I like it.

Not so much with the feeling before I started taking this one. The 'everything sucks and I kept crying' feeling. Not because anyone was making me particularly miserable. Let's face it, my cat looking at me funny was kind of making me cry on some days. If the cups were on the wrong counters, or a book was not lined up correctly, it was heartbreaking. Not so much with the emotional stability there.

I'm sure a lot of people have seen the advertisements on the television "Depression Hurts"? Well, it truly does. Physically in addition to emotionally. Everything just aches, and it drains all of the energy out of your body, and it kind of feels as though life just seems to not be worth living. No point in getting out of bed, and sleep just seems so much more appealing than *anything* else. And you can be angry or irritable, if someone tries to pull you out of that depression, because it's hard to want to do anything, except hide, and facing the world becomes more and more difficult.

Minor problems start to seem huge, and facing anything just seems insurmountable. Sometimes the idea of trying to decide what to eat is too much, and that's enough to send you into hiding.

https://www.google.com/health/ref/Major+depression

Overview

Major depression is when a person has five or more symptoms of depression for at least 2 weeks. These symptoms include feeling sad, hopeless, worthless, or pessimistic. In addition, people with major depression often have behavior changes, such as new eating and sleeping patterns.

Symptoms

* Agitation, restlessness, and irritability
* Dramatic change in appetite, often with weight gain or loss
* Extreme difficulty concentrating
* Fatigue and lack of energy
* Feelings of hopelessness and helplessness
* Feelings of worthlessness, self-hate, and inappropriate guilt
* Inactivity and withdrawal from usual activities, a loss of interest or pleasure in activities that were once enjoyed (such as sex)
* Thoughts of death or suicide
* Trouble sleeping or excessive sleeping

Depression can appear as anger and discouragement, rather than as feelings of hopelessness and helplessness. If depression is very severe, there may also be psychotic symptoms, such as hallucinations and delusions. These symptoms may focus on themes of guilt, inadequacy, or disease.

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/depression/complete-index.shtml
For resources on depression, because there are many types, and many ways to treat it. But the simple fact is that major depression isn't just going to go away on its own. You aren't going to just wake up one morning, and have everything be sunshine and happiness again. It takes work, it takes help, it takes *accepting* help. All the hoping in the world sometimes just isn't enough, and taking the first step, and accepting that there's a problem can *literally* be a lifesaver.

Not to sound like an after-school special, but if you know someone who shows the signs of major depression, care enough to notice, and speak up, and to encourage them to seek treatment. The consequences can be catastrophic if left to continue down a very slippery slope.

The simple fact is that it only takes people to remain silent, for something to go wrong, and for people to think that nobody cares. Instead of being the person who looks around, and thinks "Oh, you know, he/she's such a good person for helping (insert whoever's name here), be the person you think that about. Be what you want to see in the world.