Monday, April 30, 2007

Ranting

Danny's dad just doesn't get it. And I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to squelch what I have to say to him, due to a slight case of he keeps calling to ask things from Danny.

He keeps asking things like "What kind of TV will I need to go buy so I can hook up such and so". Or "Where do I go to get a TV tuner for the computer so I can watch TV on my machine?"

And you know what? I get it, he doesn't have a clue what he needs to be able to improve his tech toys. What I don't get is how exactly he can manage to so nonchalantly act as though he didn't just royally screw us over. If he'd never offered to help us get into a house, this wouldn't even be an issue for me.

But the jackass has pushed and pushed and pushed us to buy a house for *years*. And I finally agreed to make the attempt, because he said he would cough up the money needed to get the loan, etc. We wouldn't have even been *looking* had that offer not been made.

But when it came right down to it, when we found the house, got the loan agreed to. All the details were in place. Then he reneged. Claiming that they just couldn't afford to help us out after all. Nope, no money available to help like he promised. And less than two days later he's talking about the two escrows closing, which are about 15,000 dollars. And there's the 48,000 Hawaii property that just sold, that they got paid for. Yeah, completely broke. The way I do math, that sounds like he could've kept his word. But instead, he calls and asks advice on what to buy with the money he claims not to have. And he asks *DANNY*, as though he hadn't just finished telling Danny about how broke they are.

I call bullshit. And every time he calls here, I get a little more angry. And when I get more angry, I get more stressed out. And more stressed out leads to very bad consequences for me right now. And I'm tired of it. He wants to go and spend all that money, hey, not my decision. But he fucked us over. And Danny doesn't even seem to care. He cares when I'm angry, but he doesn't care enough to point out even once to his dad that he's a jackass. That he reneged on something that has effectively screwed us for the next foreseeable decade. I'm sure we'll figure something out eventually. Because we're going to have to. But buying that house would have solved the problems. And now we're right back to square one. And Danny won't stand up to him enough to even call him on his shit. And that hurts me. Because it isn't fair to me. And I realize that having to stand up to his dad is going to suck. But until he does that, his dad is going to continue to take advantage of him. Going to continue to screw him over, because he can. Because he knows there are no consequences for breaking his word. And every time he does it, it drives yet another wedge between me and Danny.

And what really sucks, is that I'm pretty sure that Steve is aware that he's causing fighting between me and Danny. He's never liked it that we're together, and he knows that he can get away with doing and saying whatever he likes, because Danny won't ever actually stand up to him and make him stop.

And the only way I can actually see that would clear the problem is to either cut him off, or confront him. Or Danny and I could break up, and I could find somewhere else to live and start over. But that won't solve Danny's problem, it'd just change the circumstances. Because he's going to do that to anyone Danny is with. And I don't really want to ruin a seven year relationship over something that I have no control over. I love Danny, and I don't even know what I would do without him...but how much is one person supposed to be able to put up with?

Friday, April 27, 2007

Karma for me

So today should have garnered some karma. Boot Barn called for Courtney today, I gathered that they're hiring, and are interested in employing her. So I cordially said she'd moved to a new apartment, and gave them her new contact information. Which, given that I had some stuff stolen that may or may not have been a result of her petty dramaqueen bullshit, I could just as easily have told them that she'd been arrested, or something else equally heinous. And I didn't. I was nice, and polite, and gave them the new info.

We won't be buying a house. At least, not anytime soon. We're going to have to do some serious overhauling of our finances, and things of that nature. And I'll never trust Danny's dad again. For the forseeable future, I want absolutely nothing to do with him. And for his sake, he better hope he doesn't call my house asking Danny to do *ANYTHING* for him anytime soon.

Things are actually looking up. Everything will be okay. The Tarot tells me so :P Yeah, yeah. I think Danny and I are probably going to be taking the weekend "off" as it were, and simply curling up in our corner and spending time with each other.

In other news, hey Melissa, if you have travelled over here from myspace to keep reading my blogstuffs, Danny said he saw you today out at lunch, and that the boys are adorable :) So, hi if you're reading this!

OK. I'm going to go and kick back, and have some weekend time.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

It's Charmed, I'm Sure

Danny took and passed with flying colours his CCNA exam this morning. Thanks to everyone who sent good luck to him. I am so very proud of him. *I* knew he could do it..and now he knows that too.

Things are very up in the air right now, and it's making my head spin. I don't know what's going on, exactly, with the house we were going to try to buy. Danny's parents had said they'd help us get it, and then as usual, his Dad pulled the rug out from under us. I'm getting very tired of him doing that. I realize that nobody has an obligation to help us buy a house. But we wouldn't even have been making the attempt had he not offered about twelve thousand dollars so we could try. And now that it's come right down to it, he no longer wants to have to give us the money, which is effectively fucking us over. I'm not sure what is going to happen now.

The simple truth is that we're in debt. We're in a lot of debt. And most of it is your average normal debt for people our age. But some of it isn't. And a healthy chunk of that is because we believed his father on some advice he gave us, and it's effectively screwed us for the next foreseeable decade. Had we been able to buy the house, we could have taken out an equity loan and paid everything off, leaving us with the mortgage payment, and one equity payment, but not this myriad of other things, and certainly no end in sight for dealing with the tax problems.

And so I'm angry. I'm not angry at Danny at all. But I'm thoroughly disgusted with the ease with which his dad is so very willing to screw everybody, apparently including his own son, over. And I just don't know what to do about that.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

*Ahem*

Now let me preface this by saying that it isn't an accusation to anyone. There are several things missing from my apartment, and as a result, I'm having to notify the police department that they're missing. I have high-level narcotics that are prescribed to me, and anti-depressants, and I've got several bottles missing. Because of what they are, I had to notify both my doctor's office and the police. Yay. Fun. And because of all the trouble I've had lately, PD is cross-referencing anyone who might have had reason to cause trouble for me. Again, yay.

Everything is fine. Danny and I are both fine, nothing that's important to us personally is missing. The medications will be replaced. Fortunately, because I've taken them for so long, it's in my medical documentation that I don't have a history of abusing them, so when I report that I'm missing class four narcotics, I don't end up accused of just having taken them all at once or something.

Irritating, but nothing that's going to ruin my life.

In other news, Danny goes in tomorrow morning to take his CCNA exam, everybody wish him good luck! Not that I have any doubt he'll do just fine, because he always acts like he'll flunk with flying colors, and then comes back with great scores on tests. But he's worried, so everyone wish him good luck.

We've put in a bid on a house, to see if we can try to buy it. Wish us good luck in that endeavor if you have time. We're hopeful and scared at the same time. We really like the house, and it has all the things we would need in a house. We're excited. I have no idea how long the process will take, the whole bidding, getting accepted, escrow and stuff. I've never done anything like this before.

I'm dreading packing again. Packing blows. Every time we do it, it sucks every single time. But I bet unpacking into a house that's truly ours that has no landlord will be an absolutely amazing feeling.

Okay, so I'm going to go watch "Charmed" on DVD (still courtesy of 'Chelle), which I'm about halfway through the second season of. My older brother tells me I'm a bum, because I don't watch it obsessively until I'm finished with the series the way he does. Heh. I'm enjoying it. It's fluff, but it's amusing fluff.

A'ight, everybody take care. Oh, and if you're in Fresno, my friend Nathan's band Approaching Darkness will be playing May 7th at the Crossroads bar at Cedar & Shields. If you have time, or the inclination, go out and support him and his band. I believe it's a battle of the bands kind of competition. Ok, bye!

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Quiz thing

What Is Your Japanese Name? (girls)

Tsukiko
Tsukiko
Your Japanese name is Tsukiko. Tsukiko means "moon child" in Japanese. You love to daydream, and are into things like astrology. You love myth and all things magical. Others see you as mysterious and many think of you as weird, but you dont care. If they took the time to get to know you, they'd realize how sweet you are.
How do you compare?
Take this test! | Tests from Testriffic

Updates

A week ago today, I had a seizure. The results are back from the MRI I had done. Everything seems to be fine. No new tumor growth, nothing. But that leaves me back at square one for trying to figure out exactly what happened. I have a couple of theories, but none of them are particularly happy. Obviously, something's broken, because if it wasn't, I wouldn't have had a seizure. Yeah, okay. Done with that line of thought for now.

In other news, we're house hunting. Which isn't particularly a lot of fun. Real estate prices are going down, but they still aren't "reasonable" price-wise. There's a bid being submitted on a place we like. We aren't completely sure we'll be able to be financed the way we want. It's a lot more complicated than I realized, this whole trying to purchase property thing. And I'm picky. It has to have specific minimum of bedrooms. Has to have a pool. Has to have several other things. Which all make finding the "perfect" place difficult. So we'll see.

Worst case scenario, we'll stay put in our apartment, and work on other ways of paying back the back taxes.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

This week has been....

long? Tiresome? Irritating? It's actually been all of those things. I am mostly frustrated right now. Danny will be picking up the films and the MRI report this afternoon for me, so I'll have it to read by the end of the day. And my doctor's office is fitting me in to see my primary tomorrow. And the woman on the phone's greeting to me? "You're the girl with brain cancer, right?" Fucking yay. Yes, I am the girl with brain cancer. And yes, I realize that it's not a common thing for them to see in the clinic, but christ almighty, did they have to make me feel even more paranoid? Especially seeing as how I've not seen the most recent results of my films?

I've been exhausted all week. Tomorrow is Friday, and I haven't really done anything at all since I had that seizure. It's taken four full days for me to walk without flinching from the leg cramps. I'm still sore, but it's finally easing off.

The Schwan's guy will be here sometime today, yay for groceries. And the water submersible MP3 player that I wanted will also be here sometime today. UPS tracking tells me that it's on the truck as I type. I'm looking forward to that.

We watched "Rocky Balboa" last night, from Netflix. The dialogue was horrible. The fight scenes were what they always are. It just wasn't very good. How disappointing.

Things aren't as warm and fuzzy as I keep claiming to everyone. My speech has been problematic all week. I've had a headache, and trouble concentrating too. My balance is off. And the more I worry about it, the worse it gets. And I can't seem to do anything at all to control it. So I'm all tucked back into my little personal bubble, trying to wait it out, but it's hard because I'd gotten so adjusted to taking normalcy for granted.

Sorry for the whining tone to this post. I just don't know what else to do.