I don't even know where to begin this evening. The current household score rests thus: Ezzie: 4 - Headphones: 0. I'd have to say Ezzie is winning. Danny's promised me a shiney new pair tomorrow, since he left the latest pair hanging from the treadmill, and the cat chewed through yet another cord. I have that stupid song "and the cat came back, the very next day, the cat came back he just couldn't stay away" in my head in reference to those headphones. At least he has good enough manners to only eat the headphone cords. Given the amount of other household cords that are within that stupid cat's reach, I should be grateful the only cords he likes are the cords to my headphones, which are the cheapie headphones I prefer. I can only imagine the pain in the ass it would be if he decided he liked the taste of, say, the Mac power supply cord, or something along *those* lines.
The wasp issue in the bathroom appears to be under control. Maintenance was in here earlier today patching over the hole in the wall, and there aren't any more wasps, as far as I know. Not entirely certain of it, because I wasn't here, but I'm told he saw none, and the problem has been taken care of. I hope so, anyhow. Bugs are bad. Yup. Bad.
I feel all scatterbrained, in a weird way (zing! word of the day!) and I'm not altogether sure why. It's as though I'm standing outside of myself, watching everything just sort of putter on around me. I'm watching everyone else doing their normal everyday routines, and I'm doing my normal routine, and everything is as it should be but something is off center. Only I can't explain what that something is. It's very peculiar. Nothing is wrong, per se. There aren't any large black looming clouds on the horizon. The world has not stopped revolving. The sun rises in the east, sets in the west. My stupid cat still jumps on my head every morning. But something is just...weird.
I have watched "Friends" many times, in reruns, over the years. It is playing as background in my apartment while I blog right now, and I can't even *hear* it, because I have in earplugs, and it has captions. And yet, even though I know what's going on, and I'm barely watching it, I still find myself sucked into this inane show. It's ridiculous. I have no idea why it's so fascinating. It's crazy. Why is this show so appealing? Thoughts? Anyone?
Monday, September 10, 2007
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Nothing else matters....
There's a damned colony of yellow jacket wasps living in the wall of my master bathroom. Wasps are bad, mmmkay? So there will be pest control guys killing them off either tonight or at the ass crack of dawn tomorrow morning. Which is good, because being scared of your bathroom is bad indeed. Not much I can do about it either way, so I'll just be waiting for the end result in the meantime.
Approaching Darkness didn't win the other night, but I'm told they made a lot of new fans, and that's a good thing. And I got out of the house, and I had an incredibly good time, so I was pleased with the overall end result. I hope that they were too.
In other news.
I hear that the so-called Southern Hottie is miserable living in her swamp, and that they trashed out their apartment here in town so badly that they may end up never being able to come back to California, whether they want to or not. Christ alive, how the fuck can *anyone* do somewhere in the neighborhood of twenty four hundred dollars in damage to an apartment, short of literally tearing the walls down? That's a phenomenal amount of damage. Especially when you consider that their apartment was kind of boring and plain to begin with, so there weren't any high-end fancy things to destroy to start off.
Now, I'm not a big fan of Fresno. The weather blows. The town's too small to suit me, personally. I'd kind of like a different kind of climate. There are just things about it I'd like different, and I'd rather live somewhere else. But I absolutely *detest* Florida. By comparison to Florida, Fresno is a freaking paradise. In Florida, there are hurricanes. It's humid. Remember a few days ago, that random freaky thunderstorm? (Apologies to those of you who aren't local reading this and have no clue what I'm talking about.) That truly rotten sticky humidity that came with the random thunderstorm? *MILD* compared to Florida weather. And that humidity is Florida weather from, oh, May until Octoberish. It might've gotten to be longer than that, I haven't actually suffered living in Florida in a very long time.
Where was I? Oh, yes. Southern Hottie in her swamp. So yeah. I never got around to updating the soap opera dramafest that I'd been blogging about a few months ago, about how royally screwed about money I got by an old friend of mine who I'd tried to help out. Well, I did indeed get screwed over on the money aspect of that situation. And you know what? As it turns out, I think I might be ok with that. I lost probably fifteen hundred dollars. She gained a bunch of weight. Lost a bunch of friends. Lost her mind. Lost her self-respect. Lost her home. She lost and gained a husband. She lives in a swamp, in a town the size of a pea pod, because she snuck out of town trying to avoid having to pay me back the money she owed me. The completely amusing part of the entire fucking thing? I never once intended to file that civil suit against her. I was just fucking with her. I knew for two full weeks that they were packing up, selling off the stuff I'd paid for, and heading out for Florida. She was so hyper paranoid that she dug herself into a complete shithole and ran across the country to live in the absolute pit of hell to escape me...and it was a freaking joke. Instead of being an adult and facing up to, well...life. She chose instead to leave behind myriad bills with companies like PG&E which will hunt your ass down indefinitely, get an eviction on her record which will sit there for the next *decade*, thus guaranteeing that she can't rent an apartment or qualify for a mortgage loan on a house for minimum a decade in any state in this country. Instead of simply dealing with me and being a grown-up, she snuck away and hid, and now has trapped herself in a place she hates with no way out. Way to go!
So yeah. In the end? I didn't even have to do anything. I made the online snarky equivalent of "BOO!" and jumping out from behind a fence, and she wrecked her entire life.
So for anyone I'd inadvertently left hanging on the drama-update scenario, there you go. She got screwed, I still have a reasonably nice life, that was the end of that.
Approaching Darkness didn't win the other night, but I'm told they made a lot of new fans, and that's a good thing. And I got out of the house, and I had an incredibly good time, so I was pleased with the overall end result. I hope that they were too.
In other news.
I hear that the so-called Southern Hottie is miserable living in her swamp, and that they trashed out their apartment here in town so badly that they may end up never being able to come back to California, whether they want to or not. Christ alive, how the fuck can *anyone* do somewhere in the neighborhood of twenty four hundred dollars in damage to an apartment, short of literally tearing the walls down? That's a phenomenal amount of damage. Especially when you consider that their apartment was kind of boring and plain to begin with, so there weren't any high-end fancy things to destroy to start off.
Now, I'm not a big fan of Fresno. The weather blows. The town's too small to suit me, personally. I'd kind of like a different kind of climate. There are just things about it I'd like different, and I'd rather live somewhere else. But I absolutely *detest* Florida. By comparison to Florida, Fresno is a freaking paradise. In Florida, there are hurricanes. It's humid. Remember a few days ago, that random freaky thunderstorm? (Apologies to those of you who aren't local reading this and have no clue what I'm talking about.) That truly rotten sticky humidity that came with the random thunderstorm? *MILD* compared to Florida weather. And that humidity is Florida weather from, oh, May until Octoberish. It might've gotten to be longer than that, I haven't actually suffered living in Florida in a very long time.
Where was I? Oh, yes. Southern Hottie in her swamp. So yeah. I never got around to updating the soap opera dramafest that I'd been blogging about a few months ago, about how royally screwed about money I got by an old friend of mine who I'd tried to help out. Well, I did indeed get screwed over on the money aspect of that situation. And you know what? As it turns out, I think I might be ok with that. I lost probably fifteen hundred dollars. She gained a bunch of weight. Lost a bunch of friends. Lost her mind. Lost her self-respect. Lost her home. She lost and gained a husband. She lives in a swamp, in a town the size of a pea pod, because she snuck out of town trying to avoid having to pay me back the money she owed me. The completely amusing part of the entire fucking thing? I never once intended to file that civil suit against her. I was just fucking with her. I knew for two full weeks that they were packing up, selling off the stuff I'd paid for, and heading out for Florida. She was so hyper paranoid that she dug herself into a complete shithole and ran across the country to live in the absolute pit of hell to escape me...and it was a freaking joke. Instead of being an adult and facing up to, well...life. She chose instead to leave behind myriad bills with companies like PG&E which will hunt your ass down indefinitely, get an eviction on her record which will sit there for the next *decade*, thus guaranteeing that she can't rent an apartment or qualify for a mortgage loan on a house for minimum a decade in any state in this country. Instead of simply dealing with me and being a grown-up, she snuck away and hid, and now has trapped herself in a place she hates with no way out. Way to go!
So yeah. In the end? I didn't even have to do anything. I made the online snarky equivalent of "BOO!" and jumping out from behind a fence, and she wrecked her entire life.
So for anyone I'd inadvertently left hanging on the drama-update scenario, there you go. She got screwed, I still have a reasonably nice life, that was the end of that.
Monday, September 3, 2007
Approaching Darkness
Holy shit, the sky must be falling, I actually left the house and went out to a freaking rock show!
My friend Nathan's band, Approaching Darkness, played a show last night in Hanford at the Bastille, in a battle of the bands. They were absolutely awesome. I don't generally listen to the kind of music that they play, and in spite of myself, I was still impressed. I'll go out and listen to them again, albeit in a venue a little closer to home next time. It was worth it though.
But I still don't know *WHO WON* damnit!
In other news, Nathan's wife rocks. She's a kick, and entertaining as all hell. Being that I'm a hermit by nature, it's unusual for me to be out and about anywhere for more than a couple of hours, and I managed to pass a very enjoyable six plus hours in Sam's company without realizing that much time had gone by. My hidden tech soul has been appeased, and I think I might have finally found another female friend who dislikes women as much as I do. Egads.
I'll have other stuff to post later, that has nothing to do with Approaching Darkness or rock shows or rock stars' wives, but for right now, this is all I have to offer :)
My friend Nathan's band, Approaching Darkness, played a show last night in Hanford at the Bastille, in a battle of the bands. They were absolutely awesome. I don't generally listen to the kind of music that they play, and in spite of myself, I was still impressed. I'll go out and listen to them again, albeit in a venue a little closer to home next time. It was worth it though.
But I still don't know *WHO WON* damnit!
In other news, Nathan's wife rocks. She's a kick, and entertaining as all hell. Being that I'm a hermit by nature, it's unusual for me to be out and about anywhere for more than a couple of hours, and I managed to pass a very enjoyable six plus hours in Sam's company without realizing that much time had gone by. My hidden tech soul has been appeased, and I think I might have finally found another female friend who dislikes women as much as I do. Egads.
I'll have other stuff to post later, that has nothing to do with Approaching Darkness or rock shows or rock stars' wives, but for right now, this is all I have to offer :)
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Updates from everywhere
I've been sort of procrastinating on the updates here, so I decided to just post a big one with anything that comes to mind.
I shall start with....Bread machines! Yes, that's right everybody, bread machines. I got a wild hair up my ass about making bread a few months ago, but I don't have the coordination or the arm strength to be kneading bread a couple of days a week. But I was sick of reading labels on grocery store bread and seeing "high fructose corn syrup" in my freaking bread. I've recently learned that are a lot of various things you can put into bread. High fructose corn syrup IS NOT ONE OF THEM. Ew. So I started looking around for a bread machine. But as I'm being a tightwad these days, I didn't really want to spend a couple hundred dollars buying one just to find out if I would use it often enough to warrant the purchase.
Enter the State of Nevada. Basically, Nevada still sports thrift stores and yard sales where you can find all kinds of absolutely amazing stuff in remarkably good condition...for really, really cheap. Which is awesome. Unfortunately, I do not live in the State of Nevada. Fortunately, my parents *do* live in said state. So I called and begged them to keep an eye out for me for a breadmaker if they happened to see one, and let me know. And after that, I more or less completely forgot I'd even asked.
Fast forward to my birthday, when said parents arrived bearing gifts! Yay! Presents! They found a top of the line bread machine, with all its' parts and doodads, and a slicer and a cookbook and brought them for my birthday. I've been making a couple loaves a week since then. And interestingly, I haven't gained weight from the amount of bread I'm making. But it most decidedly is an improvement over random stuff in the grocery store bread that I can't pronounce. I makes some *good* sammiches these days.
In the spirit of my tightwadness lately (pause to smirk that "tightwad" is recognized by spellcheck, but "tightwadness" is flagged), I've also been cooking a fair amount. I haven't yet decided whether or not I'm enjoying it, but I have certainly been enjoying the taste-good aspect of the food. I'd gotten bored with fast food takeout. It is amazing how much money actually gets saved if you cook. Even if you buy expensive ingredients, you end up with about four times as much food quantity-wise for the same amount of money.
In other news, my long-dreaded and avoided neurology appointment was yesterday. I freaking hate those things. But some things I can't avoid forever, especially with a proclivity for brain cancer already looming over my head. So, it's the neurologist for me.
He seems fairly competent, which was nice. He was also friendly, which was also nice. And I learned a few things. And I feel like a complete ass for not having put two and two together before now. When I had my resection surgery, it took the incision on my scalp about a year to heal. Average for that type of scar is a couple of months, for the healing of the outer incision. But for me, that it took a year wasn't that unusual, and I didn't really think anything of it, unless it separated and was causing me to be annoyed. I'm so accustomed to scratches, scrapes, and bruises not healing in a timely fashion that I honestly no longer give it any consideration at all.
Which brings us to my being a moron. Ladies and gentlemen, if it takes an incision that should heal in two months a year to heal, how long does it take brain tissue incisions to heal? The answer? For the average person, it takes around a year for the tissue to heal and scar over. For me? It apparently took about 3 years for the tissue to scar over, and when it did, it promptly started seizures. Just like it was predicted it would. Only, a year came and went, and I went off the anti-seizure medications, and the doctor let me. Because a normal person if they aren't having seizures at that point means that the scar tissue won't be pushing on anything that would cause seizures, and there's no need to be on unnecessary medication. Except I'm me. And I take forever and a day to heal.
So nice Mr. Neurologist man looks at my MRI films, sees the scarring, says of course you'll be having seizures, theres scarring on your left temporal and parietal lobes, duh! Well, the scarring wasn't there a year ago, you douchebag doctor. The scarring that's now on the films is a new thing. Except because it's supposed to be there, expected to be there, nobody thought to mention it to me. And I'm stupid, and never thought about the mechanics of it myself.
So I go in and get another EEG, and it'll show some stuff (not sure what) to the happy neurologist man, and he put me on anti-seizure meds. So I'm going to sleep a lot...well, more than normal for me, which is saying something...for a while, and at the end of the while, I should be back to being able to drive myself around and lead what passes for a normal life for me.
Oh, complete subject switch.
Cheesecake pudding! Did you know they make cheesecake pudding?? I did not. Thus, when I came across this particular item, I had to buy it. Because, dude, *cheesecake*!!!
I shall start with....Bread machines! Yes, that's right everybody, bread machines. I got a wild hair up my ass about making bread a few months ago, but I don't have the coordination or the arm strength to be kneading bread a couple of days a week. But I was sick of reading labels on grocery store bread and seeing "high fructose corn syrup" in my freaking bread. I've recently learned that are a lot of various things you can put into bread. High fructose corn syrup IS NOT ONE OF THEM. Ew. So I started looking around for a bread machine. But as I'm being a tightwad these days, I didn't really want to spend a couple hundred dollars buying one just to find out if I would use it often enough to warrant the purchase.
Enter the State of Nevada. Basically, Nevada still sports thrift stores and yard sales where you can find all kinds of absolutely amazing stuff in remarkably good condition...for really, really cheap. Which is awesome. Unfortunately, I do not live in the State of Nevada. Fortunately, my parents *do* live in said state. So I called and begged them to keep an eye out for me for a breadmaker if they happened to see one, and let me know. And after that, I more or less completely forgot I'd even asked.
Fast forward to my birthday, when said parents arrived bearing gifts! Yay! Presents! They found a top of the line bread machine, with all its' parts and doodads, and a slicer and a cookbook and brought them for my birthday. I've been making a couple loaves a week since then. And interestingly, I haven't gained weight from the amount of bread I'm making. But it most decidedly is an improvement over random stuff in the grocery store bread that I can't pronounce. I makes some *good* sammiches these days.
In the spirit of my tightwadness lately (pause to smirk that "tightwad" is recognized by spellcheck, but "tightwadness" is flagged), I've also been cooking a fair amount. I haven't yet decided whether or not I'm enjoying it, but I have certainly been enjoying the taste-good aspect of the food. I'd gotten bored with fast food takeout. It is amazing how much money actually gets saved if you cook. Even if you buy expensive ingredients, you end up with about four times as much food quantity-wise for the same amount of money.
In other news, my long-dreaded and avoided neurology appointment was yesterday. I freaking hate those things. But some things I can't avoid forever, especially with a proclivity for brain cancer already looming over my head. So, it's the neurologist for me.
He seems fairly competent, which was nice. He was also friendly, which was also nice. And I learned a few things. And I feel like a complete ass for not having put two and two together before now. When I had my resection surgery, it took the incision on my scalp about a year to heal. Average for that type of scar is a couple of months, for the healing of the outer incision. But for me, that it took a year wasn't that unusual, and I didn't really think anything of it, unless it separated and was causing me to be annoyed. I'm so accustomed to scratches, scrapes, and bruises not healing in a timely fashion that I honestly no longer give it any consideration at all.
Which brings us to my being a moron. Ladies and gentlemen, if it takes an incision that should heal in two months a year to heal, how long does it take brain tissue incisions to heal? The answer? For the average person, it takes around a year for the tissue to heal and scar over. For me? It apparently took about 3 years for the tissue to scar over, and when it did, it promptly started seizures. Just like it was predicted it would. Only, a year came and went, and I went off the anti-seizure medications, and the doctor let me. Because a normal person if they aren't having seizures at that point means that the scar tissue won't be pushing on anything that would cause seizures, and there's no need to be on unnecessary medication. Except I'm me. And I take forever and a day to heal.
So nice Mr. Neurologist man looks at my MRI films, sees the scarring, says of course you'll be having seizures, theres scarring on your left temporal and parietal lobes, duh! Well, the scarring wasn't there a year ago, you douchebag doctor. The scarring that's now on the films is a new thing. Except because it's supposed to be there, expected to be there, nobody thought to mention it to me. And I'm stupid, and never thought about the mechanics of it myself.
So I go in and get another EEG, and it'll show some stuff (not sure what) to the happy neurologist man, and he put me on anti-seizure meds. So I'm going to sleep a lot...well, more than normal for me, which is saying something...for a while, and at the end of the while, I should be back to being able to drive myself around and lead what passes for a normal life for me.
Oh, complete subject switch.
Cheesecake pudding! Did you know they make cheesecake pudding?? I did not. Thus, when I came across this particular item, I had to buy it. Because, dude, *cheesecake*!!!
Monday, August 27, 2007
Musings
(playing in the background): Ice Cube - Today was a good day
I haven't quite figured out how to set it up to show what's playing on here, so I guess I'll just manually input it in the meantime.
Our TV *still* isn't fucking back yet. And I'm not altogether sure what's going to come of that. I hate not knowing what's going on for stuff like that.
Monkey turns 11 this week. I haven't decided if I really feel old, or if I should just be grateful that's she's healthy and happy and whatnot. She's growing up so fast, it's scary. Boy crazy and thinking she's all grown up, when I know very well that she's still a kid...not much I can do about it either way.
House is cleaned. The cat is laying around being lazy. I should post pictures of my cat. He's absolutely teh awesome. As usual, I'm about a year and a half behind the LOLcatz craze. *Now* I find LOLcatz funny. Oh well, nothing new about that.
I'm just kind of sitting here bumping my head in time to music, and thinking about tomorrow. I go in to see the neurologist tomorrow. My speech has been getting worse lately, enough worse that it's making me paranoid. I guess I probably ought to go and get new scans of my brain too, but we'll see what the new guy says. It's bound to be one of those really fun doctor visits where he asks myraid questions I can't answer, because my memory is swiss cheese, and where there's blood involved. Yay.
I haven't really updated this blog as regularly as I used to, which I should start doing again. Venting on here tends to keep me from boiling over inside.
The last week has been fairly odd for me in general. Danny finally concedes that we should get the hell out of this town. Looks like north is winning the war for the direction we'll go in. I got a message from an ex who is about to get married, and it was good to hear from him for me. It was nice to realize that not *everyone* I used to know or care about hates me. I hadn't realized that even mattered to me in any visible fashion, but I guess it does.
I can't always find the words to express what I'm thinking or feeling, and sometimes even when I *have* those words, I don't say them. At least, not out loud. Communication in the written form, I have that down pat. Audibly? Not so much. Maybe someday.
Hi to anybody who happens to still read my blogs. Nice to see ya dropped on by :)
Oh, and to Sam if she's reading here...you should come hang out sometime, you and Natan. If we ever get my stupid TV back you could come kick it here and play video game wars with us :)
I haven't quite figured out how to set it up to show what's playing on here, so I guess I'll just manually input it in the meantime.
Our TV *still* isn't fucking back yet. And I'm not altogether sure what's going to come of that. I hate not knowing what's going on for stuff like that.
Monkey turns 11 this week. I haven't decided if I really feel old, or if I should just be grateful that's she's healthy and happy and whatnot. She's growing up so fast, it's scary. Boy crazy and thinking she's all grown up, when I know very well that she's still a kid...not much I can do about it either way.
House is cleaned. The cat is laying around being lazy. I should post pictures of my cat. He's absolutely teh awesome. As usual, I'm about a year and a half behind the LOLcatz craze. *Now* I find LOLcatz funny. Oh well, nothing new about that.
I'm just kind of sitting here bumping my head in time to music, and thinking about tomorrow. I go in to see the neurologist tomorrow. My speech has been getting worse lately, enough worse that it's making me paranoid. I guess I probably ought to go and get new scans of my brain too, but we'll see what the new guy says. It's bound to be one of those really fun doctor visits where he asks myraid questions I can't answer, because my memory is swiss cheese, and where there's blood involved. Yay.
I haven't really updated this blog as regularly as I used to, which I should start doing again. Venting on here tends to keep me from boiling over inside.
The last week has been fairly odd for me in general. Danny finally concedes that we should get the hell out of this town. Looks like north is winning the war for the direction we'll go in. I got a message from an ex who is about to get married, and it was good to hear from him for me. It was nice to realize that not *everyone* I used to know or care about hates me. I hadn't realized that even mattered to me in any visible fashion, but I guess it does.
I can't always find the words to express what I'm thinking or feeling, and sometimes even when I *have* those words, I don't say them. At least, not out loud. Communication in the written form, I have that down pat. Audibly? Not so much. Maybe someday.
Hi to anybody who happens to still read my blogs. Nice to see ya dropped on by :)
Oh, and to Sam if she's reading here...you should come hang out sometime, you and Natan. If we ever get my stupid TV back you could come kick it here and play video game wars with us :)
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Whee
So my plan here is to get copies of all my medical files. Which is more complicated than I realized it was going to be, when I actually tallied up all the places I need to contact to get said files. And then I found out that in the state of California, medical providers are only required to keep said medical records for three years. So I am not at all sure I'll be able to *get* the files I need.
Le Sigh.
We'll see, once I start sending in written requests for all the files. At least the local ones I can just drop in to and sign it right there.
Le Sigh.
We'll see, once I start sending in written requests for all the files. At least the local ones I can just drop in to and sign it right there.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
How to lose friends and influence people
Wow, been a while since I posted anything. Guess I've been in a slump. I keep getting these random piles of things that I contemplate in the middle of the night, but never get up and write them down, and I seem to have lost them by morning. Ah, the laziness, it's killing me!
Anyhow.
In the last, oh, year or so? Yeah, that sounds about right. I've come back into contact with a handful of people that I knew either in junior high, or high school, or around then. We were friends then. Granted, I disappeared right after high school for a couple of years, and we all moved on in our different directions, as is pretty normal for the whole growing up process. Okay, sorry, running on tangents these days. Moving on. So I found these people, and sent messages to them. And they responded, and we chatted, and it was all nice and happy and sunshiny. And then they abruptly stopped communicating with me, for no apparent reason.
As I've put some serious thought into it, I really can't come up with any kind of valid reasons for why they'll no longer have anything to do with me. I'm not particularly pursuing the issues, mostly because I'm not sure I want friends who drop me for no reason whenever it suits them. But in all honesty, it bothers me.
I'm not sure what I did that's caused me to be disdained. And this isn't the first time it's happened. It's happened over and over throughout the years. And in every instance, contact was simply severed, with no explanation of any sort. As though I'm good enough to have as a friend as long as I'm useful to them, but as soon as someone better comes along, I'm ignored completely, if not seriously disparaged in general to others who we mutually knew.
And the biggest problem with all of this? It's that since I have no idea what it is that I'm doing wrong that's so offensive as to write me off entirely, I have absolutely no way to correct whatever it is.
I'm not the anti-christ. I'm not mean to people just for the sake of being a jackass. I'm generally nice to anyone who is nice to me. I'm not a stalker. I don't lie, I don't cheat, I don't steal.
I just don't get it. Ah, well.
Oh, and a shout-out to Borrego, thanks for the comment. It cheered me up to see that you'd been by the blogspot :)
Anyhow.
In the last, oh, year or so? Yeah, that sounds about right. I've come back into contact with a handful of people that I knew either in junior high, or high school, or around then. We were friends then. Granted, I disappeared right after high school for a couple of years, and we all moved on in our different directions, as is pretty normal for the whole growing up process. Okay, sorry, running on tangents these days. Moving on. So I found these people, and sent messages to them. And they responded, and we chatted, and it was all nice and happy and sunshiny. And then they abruptly stopped communicating with me, for no apparent reason.
As I've put some serious thought into it, I really can't come up with any kind of valid reasons for why they'll no longer have anything to do with me. I'm not particularly pursuing the issues, mostly because I'm not sure I want friends who drop me for no reason whenever it suits them. But in all honesty, it bothers me.
I'm not sure what I did that's caused me to be disdained. And this isn't the first time it's happened. It's happened over and over throughout the years. And in every instance, contact was simply severed, with no explanation of any sort. As though I'm good enough to have as a friend as long as I'm useful to them, but as soon as someone better comes along, I'm ignored completely, if not seriously disparaged in general to others who we mutually knew.
And the biggest problem with all of this? It's that since I have no idea what it is that I'm doing wrong that's so offensive as to write me off entirely, I have absolutely no way to correct whatever it is.
I'm not the anti-christ. I'm not mean to people just for the sake of being a jackass. I'm generally nice to anyone who is nice to me. I'm not a stalker. I don't lie, I don't cheat, I don't steal.
I just don't get it. Ah, well.
Oh, and a shout-out to Borrego, thanks for the comment. It cheered me up to see that you'd been by the blogspot :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
