Daily blogging

It's been a rough couple of days. A lot of that is my own fault, and I can accept that. But it's still been a rough couple of days.

I am angry, that I had another seizure. Angry at myself. Angry at a few other people who contributed to the stress I've been under. Just angry in general, somewhat. I simply want to be healthy again. I don't want to have to worry that I'm broken again. And I hate myself for the fears and doubts and insecurities that rear up when things like this happen.

I'll be going in for a consult with my doctor, who won't actually be able to read the MRI films, but I have to go there are a starting point to get referrals out to everywhere else. It bugs, but there isn't much I can do about it.

After I see my baseline doc, I'll be going in to see a good Neurologist here in town. Among other things, I'll be having the full neuro workup done. Yay. It was so much fun last time, that I'm just *really* looking forward to it.

I don't know. I want to be nice and calm and serene, but I'm not. I'm angry, and feel like having a childish tantrum, even though I know that won't help anything.

And poor Danny is getting the shit end of the stick, because I don't know how to handle things. I used to be able to handle them, but I can't anymore.

And I'm so tired. Physically tired. Emotionally tired. I just feel beaten. Things were going well, and now they aren't anymore. Or maybe they still are, but it doesn't feel that way to me right now.

I'm so frustrated.